OCD

When Playing It Safe Makes Things Worse

by Bill Brenner August 5, 2011 Children's issues

I had coffee with a friend from the security industry yesterday. I thought I was coming to offer feedback on something having to do with the profession. Then he told me about a mental-emotional problem. Mood music: [spotify:track:4DA95pyBe6QORPGvTEuMWQ] He told me he had a bunch of medical tests and they discovered that a small corner of his brain doesn’t work as well as it should. The result is that his short-term memory frequently takes a…  [Read More]

Debt Ceiling Debate Would’ve Killed Me A Few Years Ago

by Bill Brenner July 28, 2011 Fear and anxiety

I’m watching the political brinkmanship over the debt with much interest. But this time I’m more detached. A few years ago, I would have been sick over it. Mood music: http://youtu.be/t43VgJ4U9_Q That’s not to say I’m not more than a little concerned. If the U.S. goes into default the depth of economic chaos for us all will be severe. The world won’t end, but a lot of jobs could, which is a bad combination when…  [Read More]

My Filthy, Despicable Mouth

by Bill Brenner July 28, 2011 Coping tools

When my first child was born, I resolved to clean up my language. I was pretty successful for a long time. Lately, though, the Revere talk is reasserting itself. Mood music: I probably wouldn’t even notice the increasingly filthy mouth if not for the curse jar Erin put out. Whenever someone uses a curse word, they have to put 25 cents in the jar. The kids were delighted last week when Erin herself said something…  [Read More]

I’m a Narcissist (And So Are You)

by Bill Brenner July 27, 2011 Addiction

Someone asked me when I reached a point in my recovery where I stopped being self-absorbed. I told her I never stopped. But when you think about it, you’re not much different from me. Mood music: As I’ve said before, people with obsessive-compulsive tendencies are basket cases about being in control. Maybe it’s simply control of one’s sanity. Usually, it’s control of situations and people you have no business trying to control. Part of it, to be honest,…  [Read More]

I Thought I Was Perfect. I Was Just Stupid

by Bill Brenner July 26, 2011 Addiction

Let me tell you about the time I wanted to be perfect, how the urge nearly ruined me and how I learned to accept — if not embrace — my flaws. One of the great delusions an OCD sufferer labors under is the notion that he/she can achieve absolute perfection. Maybe the goal is to be the perfect employee. Maybe it’s to be the perfect parent and spouse. In some cases, the goal can even…  [Read More]

Diary of a Thumb Sucker

by Bill Brenner July 22, 2011 Children's issues

My son Duncan sucks his thumb. No big deal, but since he’s going to be eight soon, he’s coming around to the realization that it’s probably time to stop. There’s just one problem. Mood music: Much of the time, he’s not aware that he’s doing it, which can make quitting all the more difficult. Duncan usually does it when he’s tired or feeling insecure. It’s the latter part I worry about most. This is one…  [Read More]

Brain to Body: Drop Dead

by Bill Brenner July 20, 2011 Coping tools

I drove two hours yesterday to participate in a security event at Dartmouth and drove back this morning. A great experience, but I’ve gotten little done since then. I really hate inactivity. I like to cram as much as I can into each day, and I like to throw everything I have into my job. But all I can do is sit in this chair, trying to motivate myself to move, pounding head be damned….  [Read More]

I Talk To Myself. So What?

by Bill Brenner July 20, 2011 Communication Skills

I talk to myself all the time. Sometimes I get caught, and it embarrasses me. But over the years, the habit has served its purpose. Mood music: http://youtu.be/IKpEoRlcHfA I know I look ridiculous when I do it. Maybe I even look a little crazy, though much less so since the invention of the Bluetooth ear device. One morning in New York City, I was walking down a street chuckling over all the people with Bluetooth…  [Read More]

Hitting Bottom and Staying There

by Bill Brenner July 19, 2011 Addiction

I’ve gotten a lot of questions about hitting bottom. Specifically, after I hit bottom, how long did it take for things to start looking up? I got bad news for those craving the quick fix. Mood music: The first point worth making is that I didn’t hit one bottom like you usually see in the movies, where the addict falls so low that the clouds part and they see the light in huge, dramatic fashion….  [Read More]

Killed By Fear (Doctor Phobia and the C Word)

by Bill Brenner July 18, 2011 Crohn's Disease

The Fredstock 2 benefit concert Erin and I went to Friday night hit me where I live for another reason besides a love of music: The event was also about raising awareness about colorectal cancer. I’m a high-risk case. Mood music: I never knew Fred Ciampi, the man the benefit is named for. He passed away this winter from colorectal cancer, and the benefit was also meant to help out his wife, Claudia DeHaven Ciampi-Biddle. (Donations…  [Read More]

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