OCD

I Have Coffee, Rock & Roll, Gum and This Keyboard. Don’t Mess With Me

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Addiction

Day five without tobacco is upon me, and I’m doing OK. Uncomfortable, yes. But OK. I have other crutches to keep me tobacco free AND free of binge eating: –I have strong coffee. –I have all the Rock & Roll I want, and I’m keeping the music playing. –I’m chewing a shitload of gum and my breath has probably never been so clean and fresh. –And I have this keyboard. Writing ALWAYS helps. But I’m…  [Read More]

I Started Twitching and Can’t Stop

by Bill Brenner August 16, 2011 Addiction

I have a major case of OCD Fidget Syndrome today. It started with an 8 a.m. meeting in work and seems to have gotten worse as the morning has dragged on. In the meeting I noticed I kept swiveling my chair back and forth and changing positions. I kept tugging at my clothes. I must have gotten pretty slick about it, because people didn’t seem to notice. Then we had a small editorial meeting and…  [Read More]

A Link Between Prednisone, Mental Illness

by Bill Brenner August 16, 2011 Addiction

Since I have Crohn’s Disease, I’ve been asked if it’s linked to OCD. Yesterday, someone took the question a step further and asked if I think Prednisone led to my mental illness. Mood music: Here was the question, as posed to me on Facebook: “Bill, do you think prednisone had anything to do with your OCD? You are the second person I know to have Crohn’s and depression, I have taken the drug in the past and…  [Read More]

Caught Smoking

by Bill Brenner August 15, 2011 Addiction

You’ve heard the sorry old tale of the addict who cleaned up from the addiction that made his life unmanageable, only to pick up three more vices. That’s me. Take the surprise Erin got when opening my work bag. Mood music: She was cleaning and found earphones that belonged to me. She unzipped a front compartment in my laptop bag to put them away and had the unpleasant shock of discovering where I’d been hiding…  [Read More]

Mr. Sunshine is on Sabbatical

by Bill Brenner August 14, 2011 Coping tools

It has come to my attention that I’ve been irritable lately. I’m not as outgoing as usual. I don’t have the usual energy. Those who have noted my descending mood trace it back to early June — after Dad suffered his two strokes. My initial reaction to that was irritation. Too fucking bad, I thought. So sorry I allowed Mr. Sunshine to take a sabbatical. How inconvenient for everyone. After a few minutes of that, I…  [Read More]

An Expected Encounter With My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 11, 2011 Depression

I’m in my therapist’s office, going over the things he routinely asks about to make sure I’m playing with a full deck. He asks if I’ve talked to mom recently. No, I tell him. But, I expect to see her this weekend — the first time in two years. Mood music: He asks if I’m nervous about it. To my surprise as well as his, I tell him I’m not — and I actually mean…  [Read More]

I Am Absolutely Powerless

by Bill Brenner August 9, 2011 Addiction

Second in a series… Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over (insert addiction) — that our lives had become unmanageable. Mood music: I am powerless. Or, you could say, my addictions have absolute power over me. Even when sober and abstinent, they are right behind me, doing push-ups, waiting for my one reckless moment of weakness. Now that I know this, life is a lot better. I can do what I must to be well and I’m…  [Read More]

From youngest child to oldest son: Anatomy of an identity crisis

by Bill Brenner August 8, 2011 Children's issues

When a sibling’s death turns the baby of the family into the oldest son, you get an identity crisis filled with anger and confusion. As part of my treatment for OCD I’ve had to dig deep into my Revere past for clues on how I got this way. Recently, this huge piece of the puzzle presented itself. Mood music: [spotify:track:5QJ7GsolBcJP0tQnEZIU6i] I’ve written at length about my brother Michael, who died of an asthma attack when…  [Read More]

A Personality Defect We All Share

by Bill Brenner August 6, 2011 Communication Skills

When you hear about people with conflicting personalities, the image of an insane asylum patient comes to mind. If that were indeed the accurate picture, we would all be committed. Mood music: The truth is that we all have more than one personality. We can be one person in one group setting, then go to another group setting and become somebody else. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, either. This all came up…  [Read More]

A Clean Map to a Helpful OCD Diagnosis

by Bill Brenner August 6, 2011 OCD

I found a great article on Newsmax.com that describes OCD perfectly. It also helps the reader figure out what to do with a diagnosis. A lot of it is what I’ve already written about, but it’s less personalized. In this case, that’s good. Mood music: What follows are excerpts and how I relate… OCD symptoms are usually associated with a condition of debilitating and disabling anxiety. It’s not easy to diagnose OCD and determine what…  [Read More]

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