OCD

You Can Learn a Lot from a Dummy

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2010 Family

Sometimes, addicts look and talk like dummies. But they can teach you some surprising things about yourself. Mood music for this post: “Dumb” by Nirvana: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CYC8w-qstc&hl=en_US&fs=1] When you first walk into a 12-Step meeting, everyone in the room seems strange. People may be off the food, drugs and alcohol, but their speech may still be slurred. You dismiss them as dummies, failing to see you’re the same as them. They can teach you more than…  [Read More]

America’s Confusion Over OCD

by Bill Brenner July 10, 2010 Communication Skills

A new friend from East Africa offers a new perspective on obsessive-compulsive disorder. Mood music for this post: “Three Days” by Jane’s Addiction: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmvG2GZ3S7o&hl=en_US&fs=1] A reader of this blog recently friended me on Facebook and, Thursday, pinged me using the FB chat feature. He’s from Uganda in East Africa. He has OCD. The conversation was mostly him asking me questions about my own treatment for the disorder, how understood it is in American culture and…  [Read More]

The Downward Spiral

by Bill Brenner June 29, 2010 Depression

I was going to start this with some amusing anecdote about how I’m suffering so others might be saved. Jesus already did that sort of thing, of course. Dopes like me think it’s good to suffer to benefit others, but it’s really just delusional thinking we engage in to feel better about ourselves when the chips are down.

Emotions That Come from a Strange Place

by Bill Brenner June 28, 2010 Depression

The author finds himself walking between depression and hope. A strange place to be. (Written during a depressive episode in 2010.) Mood music for this post: Henry Rollins’ “I Think I Know You” performed over “A Warm Place,” from Nine Inch Nails’ “Downward Spiral” album: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPIT4nsT24&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Yesterday was a perfect example of the strange place I’m in emotionally these days. It started well enough. A good Mass at church in the morning, a phone conversation…  [Read More]

Others Who Fight the Stigma

by Bill Brenner June 18, 2010 Addiction

This isn’t the only blog trying to poke the stigma of mental illness and addiction in the eye. Check these out: Mood music for this post: “Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise” by The Avett Brothers: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E22HprMQN8M&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’ve been lucky to run across a couple other blogs this week where others are doing their part to break the stigma of OCD and binge eating. These finds make me happy because I’d hate to be…  [Read More]

An OCD Incident

by Bill Brenner June 16, 2010 Mental disorders

As good as the author has gotten at managing OCD, some days it still comes crashing down. Mood music for this post: “You’re Crazy” by Guns ‘N Roses: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1wmwud1DXQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Today was not one of my better days, folks. I had an OCD moment at work. My boss was pretty forgiving about the whole thing, but I’m still pissed with myself. Before I go any further, this is not a bitch-about-work post. For starters, I have…  [Read More]

Parental Estrangement

by Bill Brenner June 15, 2010 Family

The story of a relationship ruptured by mental illness. I told myself never to write this one. Too many people would feel burned. Then I remembered those who won’t like this are already angry with me. This is a critical piece of my journey through mental illness, addiction and recovery. So in I go. Those who know me well know I haven’t gotten along with my mother and step-father for a long time. It’s been…  [Read More]

What the hell? My Manson Obsession Resurfaces

by Bill Brenner June 5, 2010 Crime and punishment

Over the years, people have viewed my obsession over the Manson Murders as an oddity. How could I blame them? The murders took the concept of gore and evil to new heights and dealt the hippie counterculture a body blow it never fully recovered from. Some will fight me on that point, but really — the 60s counterculture’s vision was never the same after Aug. 9, 1969. So why am I bringing this up now…  [Read More]

Hiding in Movies

by Bill Brenner June 3, 2010 Children's issues

The author used to pretend he was a character from movies and TV shows. Then he realized his own life was much more interesting. I used to channel my OCD on movies and TV shows with larger-than-life heroes and villains. Star Wars. Superman. Star Trek. It beat the hell out of real life. I guess it started when I was around 8 and first starting to get really sick from Crohn’s Disease. I had just…  [Read More]

Writing to Save My Life

by Bill Brenner June 2, 2010 Addiction

The author on why he became a writer and how it shaped his recovery from mental illness and addiction. People often ask me how the hell I do so much writing every week, between the three-to-four pieces I do for my employer, CSO Magazine, this blog and a book I’m writing on the side. They also ask how I’m able to write so fast, especially during security conferences. At the Security B-Sides event in San…  [Read More]

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