Parenting

Thanks For The Memories

by Bill Brenner October 24, 2011 Children's issues

Duncan and I took my father to the last place on Earth I wanted to be Saturday afternoon: The family business in Saugus. Some of you know it as the blue, white and gold striped building across from Kappy’s Liquor store on Route 1. I’ve been trying to keep him out of there since he was released from rehab. Given his slow recovery from two strokes, I didn’t want him climbing stairs. I also didn’t want…  [Read More]

Duncan And I Need A Trail Of Post-It Notes To Get Through The Day

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2011 Children's issues

Things are rough in the Brenner household lately. Duncan’s ADHD is running hot, and so is my OCD. The resulting FUBARs are probably entertaining to the outsider, but it’s quite possible that Erin and Sean are ready to kill us. The back-to-school grind is great in that the kids needed to get back to their routine. But by the time Duncan gets home he’s fried. Not good when there’s homework to do. He can’t focus,…  [Read More]

41 Years

by Bill Brenner August 26, 2011 Addiction

Some people get depressed on their birthday. Not me. The fact that I turn 41 today is a freak of nature. But a year into my forties, I know I have more cleaning up to do. Mood music: Item: When I was sick with the Crohn’s Disease as a kid, I lost a lot of blood and developed several side ailments. I’m told by my parents that the doctor’s were going to remove the colon more than…  [Read More]

A Call From My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 25, 2011 Children's issues

It’s Wednesday morning. I’m working from home, face behind the computer. My kids and two neighborhood kids are tearing though the house, overturning everything in sight. Then the phone rings. Mood music: “It’s been five years,” the voice on the other end says. “Can’t we fix this?” It’s my mother. I saw her at my cousin’s wedding two weeks ago but we largely avoided contact. We’re six years into an estrangement that I think is…  [Read More]

You Can’t Be Everyone’s Friend

by Bill Brenner August 24, 2011 Adventures in writing

I once wrote about an obsession with the Facebook friend count. I worried about offending people who de-friended me. Lately I realize it’s ok if I can’t be everyone’s friend. I’m even warming to the idea. Mood music: I’ve always had this stupid idea that I needed to be everyone’s friend. Even when I was bullying someone, I’d turn around and try to be their friend. I always wanted everyone in my family to like…  [Read More]

Everyone Has Opinions. Everyone Has Research. Does Anyone Have THE Answer?

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Communication Skills

Readers have been sending me all kinds of articles lately about where addiction and mental illness come from and how best to recover. It’s useful and appreciated. But there’s a missing piece. A big missing piece. Mood music: Here’s the thing about addicts: We know all the things you’re supposed to do to get well. We know full well what is good for us and what is bad. And when the itch takes over our…  [Read More]

An Expected Encounter With My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 11, 2011 Depression

I’m in my therapist’s office, going over the things he routinely asks about to make sure I’m playing with a full deck. He asks if I’ve talked to mom recently. No, I tell him. But, I expect to see her this weekend — the first time in two years. Mood music: He asks if I’m nervous about it. To my surprise as well as his, I tell him I’m not — and I actually mean…  [Read More]

Protecting Your Kids Isn’t Always Right

by Bill Brenner August 10, 2011 Children's issues

I’ve always been fiercely protective of my children. Part of it is that fear of loss. I’m like Marlin the clown fish in “Finding Nemo.” Like Marlin, I’m starting to realize I need to let the kids have some adventures. Mood music: Any good parent is going to be over-protective to a point, and that’s how it should be. God gave us these kids to nurture, and we have to make sure they make it to…  [Read More]

From youngest child to oldest son: Anatomy of an identity crisis

by Bill Brenner August 8, 2011 Children's issues

When a sibling’s death turns the baby of the family into the oldest son, you get an identity crisis filled with anger and confusion. As part of my treatment for OCD I’ve had to dig deep into my Revere past for clues on how I got this way. Recently, this huge piece of the puzzle presented itself. Mood music: [spotify:track:5QJ7GsolBcJP0tQnEZIU6i] I’ve written at length about my brother Michael, who died of an asthma attack when…  [Read More]

A Personality Defect We All Share

by Bill Brenner August 6, 2011 Communication Skills

When you hear about people with conflicting personalities, the image of an insane asylum patient comes to mind. If that were indeed the accurate picture, we would all be committed. Mood music: The truth is that we all have more than one personality. We can be one person in one group setting, then go to another group setting and become somebody else. I don’t think that’s such a bad thing, either. This all came up…  [Read More]

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