Parenting

When Playing It Safe Makes Things Worse

by Bill Brenner August 5, 2011 Children's issues

I had coffee with a friend from the security industry yesterday. I thought I was coming to offer feedback on something having to do with the profession. Then he told me about a mental-emotional problem. Mood music: [spotify:track:4DA95pyBe6QORPGvTEuMWQ] He told me he had a bunch of medical tests and they discovered that a small corner of his brain doesn’t work as well as it should. The result is that his short-term memory frequently takes a…  [Read More]

My Filthy, Despicable Mouth

by Bill Brenner July 28, 2011 Coping tools

When my first child was born, I resolved to clean up my language. I was pretty successful for a long time. Lately, though, the Revere talk is reasserting itself. Mood music: I probably wouldn’t even notice the increasingly filthy mouth if not for the curse jar Erin put out. Whenever someone uses a curse word, they have to put 25 cents in the jar. The kids were delighted last week when Erin herself said something…  [Read More]

I Thought I Was Perfect. I Was Just Stupid

by Bill Brenner July 26, 2011 Addiction

Let me tell you about the time I wanted to be perfect, how the urge nearly ruined me and how I learned to accept — if not embrace — my flaws. One of the great delusions an OCD sufferer labors under is the notion that he/she can achieve absolute perfection. Maybe the goal is to be the perfect employee. Maybe it’s to be the perfect parent and spouse. In some cases, the goal can even…  [Read More]

Diary of a Thumb Sucker

by Bill Brenner July 22, 2011 Children's issues

My son Duncan sucks his thumb. No big deal, but since he’s going to be eight soon, he’s coming around to the realization that it’s probably time to stop. There’s just one problem. Mood music: Much of the time, he’s not aware that he’s doing it, which can make quitting all the more difficult. Duncan usually does it when he’s tired or feeling insecure. It’s the latter part I worry about most. This is one…  [Read More]

Stuff My Kids Say: Summer Edition

by Bill Brenner July 21, 2011 Children's issues

I’ve said it before: When life gets you down and it’s hard to get back up, the best medicine is often the things you hear from children. My kids prove it all the time. Here are fresh examples. Mood music: –Duncan, after listening to a couple minutes of the 360s song “Deadpan Superstar,” which I have playing on my laptop: “Why the heck would anyone write about a dust pan superstar?” –Sean and Duncan have replaced…  [Read More]

You CAN Revisit Your Past (A Trip to Revere)

by Bill Brenner July 15, 2011 Addiction

Erin had an audio conference to record Thursday morning, so to ensure a quiet house, I put the kids in the car and went to Revere Beach, the scene of my tumultuous, painful, angry yet beautiful upbringing. I’ve written a lot about Revere in this blog. How could I avoid it? But I’ve been short on photos to show you. I fixed that problem with this latest journey back in time. Sean and Duncan had…  [Read More]

The Brady Bunch Offended Me

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Children's issues

Sherwood Schwartz, creator of “Gilligan’s Island” and “The Brady Bunch,” has died at age 94. Naturally, I’m remembering how I hated “The Brady Bunch” for giving me a fake picture of family life. Mood music: I hated “The Brady Bunch” because it made me so angry that my own family was never like that. But then no one’s family is really like that. I did like the movie adaptations that came out in the 1990s…  [Read More]

A Happy Memory From A Difficult Time

by Bill Brenner July 12, 2011 Addiction

It’s sometime in October 2008. I’ve just given given up flour and sugar to get control over a binge-eating addiction. Mood music: I’m irritable and sick, going through all the aches and pains that surface when toxins start to drip from the pores. I’m coming up the stairs from work, anxious to get all the chores that await me over with. I open the door to find Duncan sitting in his chair at the kitchen…  [Read More]

Sean’s OCD Education

by Bill Brenner July 8, 2011 Children's issues

The setting: Our living room, where Sean and Duncan are folding laundry under my supervision. I’m nagging at the kids to get the job done. No getting distracted, I tell them. No complaining. Just get the chore done. Sean: “Dad, is this your OCD acting up?” Me: “What do you mean?” Sean: “You insisting that we get this done right now. Are you having an OCD moment?” Me: “No. If I were having an OCD…  [Read More]

Not What God Wants Me To Be, But Not The Person I was

by Bill Brenner July 6, 2011 Addiction

The title of this post is a popular saying among those who use the 12 Steps to bring their addictive behavior to heel. It’s a good line to keep in mind when you’re ready to lose patience with yourself and slip into self-loathing. Mood music: http://youtu.be/jYpydtdlWxA There’s a lot about myself that still has to change. I still get angry too easily. I still get self absorbed. I still give in to OCD thinking and…  [Read More]

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