Sobriety and abstinence

Hitting Bottom: Songs and Backstory

by Bill Brenner May 23, 2010 Addiction

Hitting bottom is the moment of truth for an addict, whether the shackles are made of heroin, booze or food. I’ve been there. You have a choice: Clean up your act or die a painful death that can be either quick or slow. People ask me all the time about my big moment. The answer is that there wasn’t that one dramatic moment of hitting bottom. It was more a series of bottoms. It was…  [Read More]

The Brenners Invade The White House

by Bill Brenner May 17, 2010 Addiction

The author on returning from a journey that would have been impossible a few years ago. It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’m running on less than four hours of sleep, so excuse any typos that follow… I’m back in my “sunrise chair” the morning after returning from one hell of a road trip that included a private tour of the White House West Wing, a stay at buddy Alex Howard’s place and a stay with our…  [Read More]

How a Binge Eater in Recovery Packs for a Trip

by Bill Brenner May 12, 2010 Addiction

The author’s program of recovery from addiction makes travel more interesting. Here’s how. Mood music for this post: “White Trash Circus” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w5eegIa97s&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Traveling was easier when I had my face in the junk food. I would just buy whatever poison I wanted to binge on and that was that. Of course, in doing so I had practically no drive to get out there and live. A couple years into my 12-Step Recovery…  [Read More]

Road Kill (a Family Adventure)

by Bill Brenner May 12, 2010 Addiction

The author on why he’s taking the family on a 10-hour car ride. Mood music for this post: “Heading Out to the Highway” by Judas Priest: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoDbAd4fYBA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] A few years ago, this would have been impossible. I never would have put the whole family in the car and driven 10 hours south to Washington D.C. Too scary. Too much planning. Someone might break into the house while we’re gone. Well, the house part is a…  [Read More]

Shakin’ the (Empty) Money Maker

by Bill Brenner May 7, 2010 Addiction

The author on keeping sane when you gotta make do with less. Mood music for this post:”What’s It Gonna Take” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wredTXeMS64&hl=en_US&fs=1&] It’s easy to come undone when the money supply tightens up. Just about everyone I know is feeling the financial hurt these days. In our case, we chose to take on the world of financial hurt. Erin has a cool editing business that deserves a chance to flourish and we had…  [Read More]

The Healers (Adventures in Step 9)

by Bill Brenner May 4, 2010 Gratitude

Tripped on Step 9 many times. But I got back up. Here’s what happened next. Mood music for this post: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrUdulMG4Qg&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Of the 12 Steps of Recovery, three are the thorns of my existence: 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to…  [Read More]

Birthdays of the Dead

by Bill Brenner May 3, 2010 Addiction

The author observes another birthday for someone who isn’t around to celebrate. Mood music for this post: “On With The Show” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyapJ9iCWxA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’m a lot better at remembering the day someone died than the day they were born. I guess that’s understandable. Birthdays come and go. Death dates for those who are close burn a scar into your brain that makes the moment feel like it only happened seconds ago. Even if…  [Read More]

Hitting Bottom

by Bill Brenner May 2, 2010 Addiction

The author didn’t hit rock bottom before he got help. He hit several bottoms. Mood music for this post: “Coma White” by Marylin Manson: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQPJYnr48yU&hl=en_US&fs=1&] You’ve heard a million variations of the story from people who have battled depression and addiction. At some point they hit bottom and have that moment of clarity when they realize they have two choices: Get help or die. Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue’s moment of truth was in December…  [Read More]

The Rewards and Risk of Service: A Cautionary Tale

by Bill Brenner April 29, 2010 Addiction

Service is a major tool of recovery. But it can also be dangerous. Mood music for this post: “Serve the Servants” by Nirvana: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtB6gEmr6ZY&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Last night was one of service. I drove down to Salem State College to talk to graduating seniors about their portfolios and resumes. It was the least I could do, after all that college did for my career. It was energizing to talk to the students, who are full of hope…  [Read More]

This is Your Brain on Restlessness

by Bill Brenner April 27, 2010 Addiction

The author has hit a wall with his recovery. But it’s not what you think. Mood music for this post: “Don’t Cry” by Guns N Roses: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRIbf6JqkNc&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’ve moved past yesterday’s tiredness to a state of restlessness. By brain is at war with itself. One side wants to buckle down and tackle the editing and administrative tasks on the table. The other side wants to write a few more articles first. I have leftover material…  [Read More]

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