The stormy past

The Most Important Book Ever Written About Sharon Tate And The Manson Murders

by Bill Brenner February 25, 2012 Addiction

I’m reading a book called “Restless Souls: The Sharon Tate Family’s Account of Stardom, the Manson Murders, and a Crusade for Justice,” written by Tate family friend Alisa Statman and Brie Tate, niece of Sharon Tate. It may well be the most important book written on the Manson case. Mood music: The simple reason is that it captures a family’s grief and struggle to move on — something all our families have dealt with in various forms. I’ve…  [Read More]

Chain Smoking In Bickford’s Was The Best

by Bill Brenner February 17, 2012 Addiction

Though I no longer smoke or eat the kind of food they served, I’m feeling nostalgic about the days of old when you could sit in any of the dim, dank coffee shops in the local Bickford’s chain for hours, hanging out, chain smoking and drinking those awful, bottomless cups of black coffee. I blame The Doors for this trip down memory lane. I’ve been listening to their first album this morning and when “Soul…  [Read More]

Playing Chicken With The Wedding Train

by Bill Brenner February 6, 2012 Communication Skills

It’s a common pain in the ass when a couple is planning their wedding: Someone threatens to boycott the event unless so-and-so is uninvited. Mood music: In the run-up to my wedding in 1998, a close cousin pulled this when he got into a fight with my aunt — his mom. She went to the wedding and he skipped it. I haven’t seen or heard from him since then. Erin and I were paying for…  [Read More]

Celebrating A Lost Sibling

by Bill Brenner January 7, 2012 Family

My brother died Jan. 7, 1984. On this anniversary, I find myself grateful that he was in my life. He left a positive mark on me and left plenty of amusing family stories. Mood music: I’ve already written plenty about the darker side of dealing with his death. You can read about it in “Death of a Sibling” if you’re interested. In this post, I just want to celebrate a few things: 1.) Michael is…  [Read More]

Hey, Mom, Read This

by Bill Brenner January 4, 2012 Depression

I got a call from my mother this morning. She says she’s been reading every post in this blog and that she’s very worried about me. “You have a beautiful wife, two healthy kids and a wonderful job, yet I read your blog and see someone who is very unhappy and disturbed,” she told me. Incredibly, she was worried that I might try to hurt myself someday. Nothing is further from the truth. Which brings…  [Read More]

My Mother Unfriended Me

by Bill Brenner January 1, 2012 Depression

A bump on the path to reconciliation after five years of estrangement from my mother: Angered over posts about my childhood, she has unfriended me from Facebook. Mood music: I wasn’t too surprised. I knew that recalling childhood as I remembered it wouldn’t sit well with her. But I was hoping — really hoping — that she would see the bigger picture I’ve been trying to present: One where I’ve turned out fine despite earlier…  [Read More]

You’re Missing The Point

by Bill Brenner December 20, 2011 Depression

Based on some of the reader feedback I’ve received lately, it’s a safe bet that some people miss the point of this blog. Mood music: When they read about the tougher things I’ve been through, they walk away with the notion that this is about stewing over childhood pain and obsessing over the challenges of everyday life. But that’s not the point at all. This is about finding the beauty in life and celebrating the…  [Read More]

When You’re A Kid, Little Incidents Are A Big Deal

by Bill Brenner December 15, 2011 Children's issues

A point my mother made regarding some of what I’ve written about the past: “I remember differently than you on most entries. Not because I am blind but because children are little and see things big.” Mood music: I don’t disagree with that. When you’re little you do see things big. In this case, my mother was referring to the stuff I’ve written about my childhood and whether things really happened as I remember it….  [Read More]

Seeds Of Rage At The Paul Revere School

by Bill Brenner December 12, 2011 Children's issues

My friend Marc Serra posted an eighth-grade class picture from the Paul Revere School, circa 1984-85. The scowl on my face says a lot about the time. Here I am, first from left in the back, looking like I want to stab someone in the eye: The photo was snapped maybe a year or so after my brother died. I was gaining weight by the boatload and couldn’t seem to stop. Some of the kids…  [Read More]

My Mother Found The Blog

by Bill Brenner December 9, 2011 Children's issues

In my slow effort to reconcile with my mother, I made it easier for her to find this blog. Given the raw emotion to be found here, I was pretty sure it would be rough. Mood music: I suspect it hasn’t been easy for her to read through this thing. Not at all. But her initial comments suggest she’s really trying to get it and put it in the proper perspective. Some of my memories…  [Read More]

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