The stormy past

THE OCD DIARIES, Two Years Later

by Bill Brenner December 7, 2011 Addiction

Two years ago today, in a moment of Christmas-induced depression, I started this blog. I meant for it to be a place where I could go and spill out the insanity in my head so I could carry on with life. In short order, it snowballed into much more than that. Mood music: http://youtu.be/IKpEoRlcHfA About a year into my recovery from serious mental illness and addiction — the most uncool, unglamorous addiction at that — I started…  [Read More]

Slaying Old Fears In The Hollywood Hills

by Bill Brenner November 30, 2011 Addiction

This week I’ve been in Los Angeles on business. But I’ve been slaying some old demons while here. Mood music: Let’s go back 20 years — July 1991 — when I came out here with Sean Marley on my first trip to the west coast. I didn’t really want to go because I was afraid of everything and everyone. But Sean was red hot about the idea, and back then I was always out to impress the man. So off we went, on…  [Read More]

Death Of A Second Sibling

by Bill Brenner November 15, 2011 Coping tools

Fifteen years ago I lost the friend who had become my older brother and rudder. A vicious cycle of depression destroyed his body, but it failed to kill his soul. Mood music: For a lot of my more religious friends, that has to sound odd, if not foul. We’ve been taught that suicide is a mortal sin, the kind that sends the soul straight to hell. I used to believe that. Now I think that…  [Read More]

Reading Between The Lines Of A Bad Report Card

by Bill Brenner November 10, 2011 Crohn's Disease

My mother found my fourth-grade report card the other day and mailed it to me. On the surface it shows a chronic C student who doesn’t give a damn about anything. But when I read between the lines I can see exactly where my 10-year-old head was at. If you look at it on the surface, you see a straight-C student who occasionally sinks to a D in social studies and math. On the back…  [Read More]

Thirty Years Later, I’m Still Grateful To Children’s Hospital Boston

by Bill Brenner November 9, 2011 Children's issues

I wrote this more than a year ago, but I feel as strongly about it now as I ever have… I wasn’t happy about bringing Duncan to Children’s Hospital in Boston Monday and yesterday. I practically lived there as a kid and don’t enjoy the reminders. Instead, I’ve been reminded of the gifts that place gave me. Duncan needed to have a broken wrist reset and pinned, so in we went. The first thing I…  [Read More]

Old-School: A Photo Essay

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2011 The stormy past

Erin recently scanned in a bunch of photos I’ve collected of days long gone. There’s my late brother Michael and friend Sean Marley. There’s me as a fat kid. There’s the old house. Come on in…

Learn From My Mistakes

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2011 Addiction

In all my efforts to get sane a few years ago, I did a lot of stupid things. I’m sharing it with you here so you don’t make the same mistakes: Mood music: http://youtu.be/l4Xx_vjGnlo –Don’t try to control your compulsive binge eating problem by fasting. You won’t make it through the morning, and then you’ll binge like you’ve never binged before. –Don’t mix alcohol with pills that have the strength of four Advil tablets in…  [Read More]

Get In The Van And Head To The Channel

by Bill Brenner October 25, 2011 Coping tools

A friend from the Point of Pines, Revere shared a memory yesterday. It involved getting in my brother Michael‘s van and going to see a rock legend perform at the Channel in Boston. Mood music: Julie Doyle Frascino read my post “Lost Brothers” and posted this on my Facebook page: “Michael was such a good kid! I remember one time we all piled into that van he had and went to see the Joe Perry Project…  [Read More]

Thanks For The Memories

by Bill Brenner October 24, 2011 Children's issues

Duncan and I took my father to the last place on Earth I wanted to be Saturday afternoon: The family business in Saugus. Some of you know it as the blue, white and gold striped building across from Kappy’s Liquor store on Route 1. I’ve been trying to keep him out of there since he was released from rehab. Given his slow recovery from two strokes, I didn’t want him climbing stairs. I also didn’t want…  [Read More]

Happy Birthday, Old Friend

by Bill Brenner October 7, 2011 Depression

It just dawned on me that today would have been Sean Marley’s 45th birthday. You’ve seen much here about how his life and death shaped me. But right now I just want to point out all that was cool about him. Mood music: –He was a gifted guitarist. He could learn to play just about anything, and could write great musical bits when he wanted to. He gave me my first guitar for Christmas in…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →