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Better

by Bill Brenner February 21, 2011 Uncategorized

I’m starting to come out of my funk of recent days, though I’m still not quite on my feet yet. My posts have been a lot darker than usual. I suppose that’s life. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OlYSgCUIys&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Coffee is starting to taste like coffee again, and that’s progress. I stayed awake yesterday afternoon. That’s progress, too. I don’t have much to write about today. I need to continue to take a step back and get my…  [Read More]

I Surrendered, But I’ll Never Quit

by Bill Brenner February 7, 2011 Uncategorized

Last night I spent some time in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, diving intently into Step 3 of the 12 Steps of recovery. This is the part where you come face-to-face with the reality that without your Higher Power, there’s no hope. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7kx5Y42Hqo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] To quote the step: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” That’s a hard one for some addicts…  [Read More]

My Current State of Mind

by Bill Brenner February 5, 2011 Uncategorized

Written around 9 p.m. Friday… One of my OCD ticks is a constant need for mental inventory. I’ll think back through the entire day recounting everything I’ve done. I’ll repeat the process about six times. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3olG84TVtvA&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I’ll review what I’ve eaten, how many articles or blog posts I’ve written, how many cups of coffee I’ve had, which house-hold chores I got done, etc. It’s a painful process that makes my head ache and leaves…  [Read More]

A Family Both Sick AND Inspiring

by Bill Brenner January 26, 2011 Uncategorized

A friend from work was telling me the other day about one of his relatives, who is always ready to tell him about all her daily medical problems. I was ready to laugh. Then I realized I used to do the same thing. This post is about me and family members who always had trouble keeping our illnesses to ourselves. It’s also a post about my cousin Melanie, who has every reason to do the…  [Read More]

Facebook Follow Friday: Dec. 17

by Bill Brenner December 17, 2010 Uncategorized

Welcome to the latest edition of Facebook Follow Friday. Each Friday there’s a tradition on Twitter called Follow Friday, and I decided to do a Facebook version here. What’s it have to do with OCD and addiction, you ask? Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv9-zSWMGP0&fs=1&hl=en_US] Simple: A person in recovery needs the people around him/her to stay sober and abstinent. Most important are your family and closest friends. But the friends on Facebook can be helpful too, especially those who…  [Read More]

Just Drug It Away

by Bill Brenner December 9, 2010 Uncategorized

Just saw a snippet of research suggesting a surge in the number of people taking pills for depression but a decline in the number of those seeking therapy. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CUb4TuxN0w&fs=1&hl=en_US] Here it is, from the Health, Medical and Science feed I subscribe to: More depression, less psychotherapy, more drugs: Archives of General Psychiatry Dec.06, 2010 in Depression, Men’s Health, Mental Health, Pharmaceuticals, Women’s Health More patients were being treated for depression in 2007 than a decade…  [Read More]

How I’ll Save My Sobriety and Abstinence

by Bill Brenner November 28, 2010 Sobriety and abstinence

I mentioned a few posts ago that I’ve hit a wall in my recovery program. I shared about it at yesterday’s OA meeting, and as the day progressed, I realized what I need to do to stay sober and abstinent. MOOD MUSIC: “GRACE” BY U2. CLICK HERE TO LET IT PLAY. I should point out that I’m not depressed about having to make changes. There’s no anxiety or fear driving this. It’s just a calm,…  [Read More]

The Snow-White Mind That Drifted

by Bill Brenner November 22, 2010 Uncategorized

I’m like a proud papa every time I read the “Crazy Love” blog from former Eagle-Tribune colleague Grace Rubenstein. She focuses on a topic near and dear to me, and despite the torment she surely suffered when I was her night editor, she honored me early on by asking for my feedback. Her latest post is particularly good, and I have thoughts about it. Mood music: “Driftaway” by Motley Crue… She writes about how a…  [Read More]

Songs to Help You Pick Up the Pieces

by Bill Brenner November 13, 2010 Uncategorized

This week’s soundtrack is about rising from the ashes of adversity. I’ve had more than my share of tough times, and these songs always gave me the extra shot of strength I needed to move forward… I’m a huge fan of NIN and Henry Rollins, and someone out there was brilliant enough to fuse both into this: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CPIT4nsT24&fs=1&hl=en_US] This song was perfect for the “fuck you” attitude I had in the early 1990s, when I…  [Read More]

Tragedy Follows Service

by Bill Brenner November 11, 2010 Uncategorized

Perhaps because it’s a day to honor veterans, I find myself thinking back to an encounter I had on a street in Brooklyn a couple months ago. The guy had a hole in his head where his left eye used to be and he had burn scars up and down one arm. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zld2cSIVUO4&fs=1&hl=en_US] I was puffing on a cigar, so he approached me for a light. Then he told me he had been…  [Read More]

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