Work-life balance

Searching for the Middle Speed

by Bill Brenner February 27, 2011 Work-life balance

You’ve heard the old saying about addicts: They lack the middle speed so-called normal people have access to. It’s all or nothing for us, and a couple weeks ago I started to pay for it. You could say everyone around me has been paying for it. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5SuiywnBuo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] The problem comes wrapped in a blessing. In my recovery from addiction and mental disorder, I’ve gained a hunger for all the things I used…  [Read More]

Snake on the Plane

by Bill Brenner February 12, 2011 Addiction

Tomorrow I get on another plane to another city — this time San Francisco. It’s time to go cover the RSA and B-Sides security events. I used to be a raving lunatic the day before a flight. Not anymore. Still, I feel uneasy this morning. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwzGvMwO-yg&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] My mind has been raw all week for a multitude of reasons. Mostly, it’s a case of winter getting to me. The sun is setting later each…  [Read More]

So You Don’t Like Your Job…

by Bill Brenner February 4, 2011 Job discrimination

Wherein the author suggests people stop complaining about their jobs and be the change. Tons of Facebook people complain about their jobs. It makes me feel a little guilty because I love my job. OK, it doesn’t, really. But I’ve been in that place before and learned the problem was more me than the job. Mood music: [spotify:track:7E8QnPXVk1Sw9Gi06ENZ0i] There are days where I find it a bit unreal that I have the job I’m in…  [Read More]

Oddly Enough, This Day Will Not Suck

by Bill Brenner February 2, 2011 Mental health

I’m snowed in again and both kids are home. By 6:20 a.m. they were already fighting over the family laptop. I’m dead tired. But despite it all, I’m thinking this day will NOT suck. Here’s why. –The first reason is that I started the day by listening to one of my favorite Boston bands, The Neighborhoods, covering one of my favorite Cheap Trick songs: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3QHFAPcYTM&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] –The second reason is that I got a particularly damn…  [Read More]

Mental Illness and Cybersecurity

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2011 Communication Skills

I want to flag you all to a post I just wrote in my security blog, Salted Hash, on CSOonline.com. It’s based on the opening talk at the ShmooCon security conference in Washington D.C. The speaker, Marsh Ray, uses the fragile mental condition as the basis of a talk called “A paranoid schizophrenia-based model of data security.” The post I wrote could easily work as a post in this blog. But the most appropriate audience…  [Read More]

Be Good To Yourself

by Bill Brenner January 23, 2011 Coping tools

Most of us love to beat on ourselves when something goes wrong. That’s certainly true when a recovering addict relapses.  I’m fine now, but I’ve crashed and burned this way many times before. I’ve learned that the only thing I can do is get back on the horse and ride on, even if I end up falling off a few more times. I either get back up or die. And unless God has other plans,…  [Read More]

Learning To Be A Kid Again

by Bill Brenner January 20, 2011 Mental health

At a professional training workshop yesterday, the speakers had tons of good advice for being a good leader, but one item in particular hit me where I live: The suggestion that we act more like kids. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9RZXaoaK8NI&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I’ve struggled mightily with that one over the years. As an OCD head case and addict, I often got confused on what it meant to be an adult vs. being a kid. Being a kid meant…  [Read More]

The Trouble With Wanting It All, Part 2

by Bill Brenner October 4, 2010 Addiction

Overcoming fear and anxiety has been a beautiful thing. But it has not been without trouble along the way. In recent months I’ve taken on too much and I’ve paid a price. I’m entering a new phase of recovery where my ambitions are readjusted so they gibe with reality. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCzkT5H7Udg&fs=1&hl=en_US] I got into some of this stuff in last week’s “Say Hello to My New Limit” post. But when I wrote that, I…  [Read More]

Say Hello to My New Limit

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2010 Coping tools

Another mood swing this afternoon. The dark, brooding sky appears to be rubbing off on me. The happy lamp helps, but if I sit in front of it too long I get the sweats. And it’s not the same as sunshine. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMWhk4u2c4g&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’ve been having a lot of these episodes lately, and it worries me. It’s most likely the result of my sleep pattern being out of whack. I alternate between too much…  [Read More]

Happily Ever After Is Bullshit & That’s OK

by Bill Brenner September 21, 2010 Addiction

Often, when depression slaps me upside the head, it’s on the heels of a prolonged period of good feelings and positive energy. Especially this time of year, when the daylight recedes early and returns late. These setbacks can be discouraging, but you can survive them with the right perspective. Mood music: It’s easy for people who fight mental illness and addictive behavior to go on an endless, futile search for the happily ever after, where…  [Read More]

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