Personal growth

I Forgot to Trust God, Now I’m Paying for It

by Bill Brenner March 21, 2013 Faith

I got out of bed this morning after another rotten sleep and it hit me: I’ve been having trouble sleeping through the night and controlling daytime anxiety because I’m in one of my classic control freak-outs, in which I get depressed because I am anxious about everything and want to control it all. In other words, I’ve been stewing over things beyond my control and forgetting to put my trust in God. Mood music: [spotify:track:7v0mtl6oInUtHOmTk2b0gC] Big,…  [Read More]

Stop Thinking You Have the Whole Story

by Bill Brenner November 2, 2012 Communication Skills

I’m watching a lot of people go apeshit this morning over a restaurant receipt someone posted online. Apparently a single mom was too poor to tip her server on a meal that cost $138.35. Have a look: Mood music: [spotify:track:40xbKf7Zdf27jO00tcqTkG] It looks real enough, but I’ve grown skeptical of most online pics these days. It’s easy to fake images these days. But real or not, somebody posted it to get a reaction, so I’ll take…  [Read More]

Oh, The Guilt

by Bill Brenner August 20, 2012 Mental health

I’ve always been driven by guilt. I used to hide it because with guilt comes shame and with shame comes deceit. In more recent years, however, I’ve tried to use it to become a better man. Results are mixed.   My inability to process guilt started at an early age. Growing up Jewish, I’d get Hanukkah gelt (Yiddish for “money”) during the Festival of Lights. Not understanding Yiddish, I thought it was called Hanukkah guilt. “Why…  [Read More]

Parental Overload: No Big Deal

by Bill Brenner April 25, 2010 Children's issues

Nothing like a week of screaming kids to realize OCD aint what it used to be. Mood music for this post: “Mama Weer all Crazee Now” by The Runaways: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0nKcHaQowY&hl=en_US&fs=1&] A week like the one I’ve just had would have been impossible just a couple years ago. The kids were on school vacation, the same week as Sean’s 9th birthday and some very big security events in Boston. I did a lot of speeding back…  [Read More]

MomDay Monday – School Daze

by Bill Brenner April 22, 2010 Children's issues

Every school has its issues. Issues with teachers. Issues with other parents. Miscommunication. Problems with other students. Every school. There’s no getting around it. We’re all human. We all have failings. And a school is, after all, made up of us imperfect humans. But at what point does a school have so many issues it becomes dysfunctional? Is it when the faculty talks out of turn to your child about their parents’ divorce? Or perhaps…  [Read More]

Happy and Productive in the Debris Field

by Bill Brenner April 20, 2010 Children's issues

The author used to come unglued around chaos. Now it floats past him. Mood music for this post: “Sons and Daughters” by The Decemberists: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5H8DwJI0uA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Looking at the week ahead, it’s amazing I’m not hiding in a foxhole right now. I’m working from home the first part of the week while the kids are on vacation. Call it half a vacation, though I’m tackling a full plate of work each day. Sean’s birthday is this…  [Read More]

We’re All Broken

by Bill Brenner April 19, 2010 Communication Skills

The author finds that sometimes his church family is too judgmental. Mood music: [spotify:track:3p7XSsT6AFs9lCkv6FtLbj] Father Mike went on another tirade against politicians in his Homily yesterday. He always makes a lot of points I agree with when it comes to politics and corruption, but this time I walked away feeling that he was judging people in a way we’re not supposed to do. His main gripe was against the idea that there are people who…  [Read More]

Windmill Hands

by Bill Brenner April 18, 2010 Mental disorders

Ever wondered what that weird thing is the author does with his hands? Wonder no more. Those who know me well have seen it at one time or another, usually when I’m sitting at a desk engaged in a project. My face gets slightly contorted and I start shaking my hands around like they’re on fire. I call it my Windmill Hand Syndrome. When I’m doing it, I don’t realize it, though I just noticed…  [Read More]

Skeptic Slang and Charles Manson: Six Degrees of Separation

by Bill Brenner April 17, 2010 Communication Skills

Skeptic Slang and a glimpse at mental illness in the making. Mood music for this post: “My Monkey” by Marylin Manson: A note about the music: Marilyn Manson put this on his “Portrait of an American Family” album, which was recorded in the Sharon Tate murder house. The title and chorus were taken from a Charles Manson song called “Mechanical Man.” Bits of Manson interviews are sprinkled throughout. It just seemed appropriate for some reason……  [Read More]

Why the Cigars Must Go (and Why it Pisses Me Off)

by Bill Brenner April 16, 2010 Addiction

The author needs many coaches to keep clean and sane. Sometimes it sucks. Mood music for this post: “Sludge Factory” by Alice in Chains: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej39l_aqkLc&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Like anyone in recovery, I rely on several coaches to keep me from falling back into the sludge pit. The OA sponsor keeps me on the path of abstinence (OA-speak for not eating compulsively; like an AA sponsor who helps you stay sober). I have to call her every morning…  [Read More]

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