Personal growth

Cancer and The Mouth

by Bill Brenner April 16, 2010 Uncategorized

The author has some words for a kid fighting cancer. Mood music for this post: “Heart-shaped Box” by Nirvana: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6P0SitRwy8&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Expect a couple shorter posts today. I have a few things on my mind and don’t need many words to get out what I’m feeling. Here’s the first thing on my mind: During my teenage years, my step-sister hung out with a kid I nicknamed mouth because she had a really loud voice. As annoyed…  [Read More]

Bad Behavior, Easily Defined

by Bill Brenner April 14, 2010 Addiction

The author turns to his musical hero for some easy-to-remember descriptions of depression and addictive behavior. Mood music for this post: “Pray for me” by Sixx A.M.: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFjz6O7ewwg&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Many times by now, I’ve mentioned that one of my inspirations for this blog is Nikki Sixx, bassist and lyricist for Motley Crue. That’s because he gave the world a naked view of his madness at the hands of addiction in his book, “The Heroin Diaries.” I’m…  [Read More]

Meet My Demon

by Bill Brenner April 13, 2010 Addiction

Why the author treats his demon like an imaginary friend, and how it helps. It won’t give up It wants me dead God damn that noise inside my head From today’s mood music, “The Becoming,” by Trent Reznor, Nine Inch Nails: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDfyR22u_gI&hl=en_US&fs=1&] At last night’s OA meeting, I saw quite a few people with heavy weights pressing on their minds. I won’t share details, because these meetings are all about anonymity. But it got me…  [Read More]

A Little Bitter

by Bill Brenner April 12, 2010 Addiction

The author on three of the 12 Steps he keeps tripping over. Mood music for this post: “A Little Bitter” by Alice in Chains: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3qpF9xUTT0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Of the 12 Steps of Recovery, there are three  I keep tripping over: 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or…  [Read More]

Pieces of Mind

by Bill Brenner April 11, 2010 For travelers

This happens every time I have a week of travel. By the time Sunday rolls around, I reach a point in the afternoon where I sit in the chair by the living room window as my brain cracks into pieces. I feel a buzz, even though I’m sober. I feel some bloat, even though my eating has been clean. Mood music: “Ace of Spades” by Motorhead: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxJwP0izGgc&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I feel like a wheel that’s spinning so…  [Read More]

The Priest Who Came Clean

by Bill Brenner April 11, 2010 Addiction

I’ve met many priests, some good and some not-so-good. People criticize priests because they’re athiests or they’re angry about the sex abuse scandal. Father Dennis Nason made a believer out of me by coming clean about his own sins. You would have to be sick in the head NOT to be outraged by the sex abuse, and especially of the cover-up. In the end, though, people forget that priests are human, with all the sin-making…  [Read More]

Lessons from ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’

by Bill Brenner April 9, 2010 Addiction

Me and the kids are watching Tim Burton’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” for movie night. I like this version about as equally as the 1971 Gene Wilder classic, which we watched a few weeks ago. Mood music: [spotify:track:36znenHji82rUYJTgfkc4Z]   That viewing actually inspired me to write down a post. I’m rewriting it here, because I’m having the same reaction to the newer film as I did the old one… The author watched Willie Wonka…  [Read More]

Sticking it to Kids Who Are Different

by Bill Brenner April 9, 2010 Children's issues

The author on why the school sports mentality is leaving kids who are “different” in the dust. Mood music for this post: “Mandocello” by Cheap Trick: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kH6H8wzfl4&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how schools tend to deal with kids who are different. Kids like the one I used to be. The school we send our kids to, a private Parochial school, is wonderful on many levels. My favorite thing about it is the…  [Read More]

Scenes from the Airport

by Bill Brenner April 8, 2010 For travelers

The author finds airport amusement where he once found hell. Here’s what happens. Mood music for this post: “Learn to Fly” by Foo Fighters: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VQ_3sBZEm0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I sit here at 6:23 a.m. San Francisco time, sitting at the gate for a flight home in an hour. Considering what I just passed through, I got here pretty quickly and calmly. Let’s back up. When I got here, the TSA line was as long as I’ve ever seen….  [Read More]

Like Father, Like Son

by Bill Brenner April 7, 2010 Addiction

The author finds that OCD behavior runs strong among the men in his family. It’s been said that certain crosses run in the family. Addictive behavior. Depression. Yesterday my father had three long stents inserted into his leg. Apparently the entire leg was full of blockages. He eats compulsively, and this contributes to the problem. In 1998 he had quadruple bypass surgery, but the bad eating continued. He’s always been able to bolt down the…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →