Personal growth

The Short, Strange History of Skeptic Slang

by Bill Brenner April 6, 2010 Mental health

The author is tells the story of his 2 years as lead singer of a little-known band called Skeptic Slang. I avoided this for as long as I could. I don’t like to admit that I used to sing in a band. For one thing, my singing really sucked. For another, the band never went anywhere. But some pictures of me from around that time have been unearthed, and people are starting to talk. Here’s…  [Read More]

Red Bull Blues

by Bill Brenner April 5, 2010 Addiction

The author learns once again that when he puts one addiction down, he picks up another. I realized something awhile back. I guess I already knew, but this just made it crystal clear for me. I was at the airport, en route to Santa Clara, California. There was no Starbucks nearby. My other choices were Dunkin’ Donuts or coffee served at a breakfast place across the way. Certain that both choices would fall far short…  [Read More]

The Long Road Through Self-Hatred

by Bill Brenner March 13, 2010 Addiction

The author has learned that it’s damn hard to like yourself at the beginning of sobriety and abstinence. The feeling will pass. Eventually. Mood music: A friend and fellow 12-Stepper just hit a major milestone in her recovery: 90 days of abstinence. In the world of compulsive overeating, think of this as 90 days of back-to-back sobriety. She worked hard for this and has every reason to be bursting with joy. Yet she’s uneasy. She…  [Read More]

Friends Who Help You Heal

by Bill Brenner February 28, 2010 Coping tools

The following was written one winter in a moment of absolute clarity. Mood  music: [spotify:track:27xIf7tzHPQFX068pFYlAh] Today was sunny and warm in San Francisco. After the never-ending winter back home, I got what I needed today: A walk all over the city with my good friend, Rob Westervelt. We started by walking along Fisherman’s Wharf, then Golden Gate Park and covered a lot of ground in between. It brought back memories of when I came here…  [Read More]

Outing Myself

by Bill Brenner February 22, 2010 Adventures in writing

The author on why he chose to “out” himself despite what other people might think. Mood music: [spotify:track:1Qdnvn4XlmZANCVy3XjrQo] A couple friends have asked why I “outed myself” in this blog. Wasn’t I afraid people would blackball me at work? Don’t I worry that I’ll be defined by my struggle with OCD above all else? It’s a fair question. First, let’s get the notion of “courage” and “bravery” off the table. Some have used those words…  [Read More]

Another Reason Addiction-Depression Stinks

by Bill Brenner February 20, 2010 Addiction

I’ve mentioned before that one of the inspirations for this blog was a book called “The Heroin Diaries” by Nixxi Sixx, bass player and lyricist for Motley Crue. It’s a book of diary entries he wrote from late 1986 to late 1987, at the time the “Girls Girls Girls” album was recorded and the band toured the world to support it. At the time, he was in the tight clutches of a heroin addiction that…  [Read More]

Addicted to Feeling Good: A Love-Hate Story

by Bill Brenner February 17, 2010 Addiction

Every now and then, it’s useful to look back at who I used to be so I can appreciate who I am today. I do it partly to laugh at how — in many ways, despite the progress I’ve made — I can still be as stupid in adulthood as I was 20-plus years ago. As I write this we’re halfway through Lent — a time to sacrifice habits you love — or, in my case,…  [Read More]

What Kind of Day It Has Been

by Bill Brenner February 16, 2010 Addiction

The author’s day has not gone as planned. He’s OK with that, though he wasn’t always. Mood music for this post: “Adrift And At Peace” from NIN: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMnv8zrmAyU&hl=en_US&fs=1&] This day has not gone as planned. I wanted to be in the office today plowing through some work. But another winter storm forced me to work from home. Some would say it’s great I can do that, and it is. But when there’s a lot on…  [Read More]

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

by Bill Brenner February 14, 2010 Faith

The author goes to Church and comes away with a strange feeling. Mood music for this post: “Faith.” The Limp Bizkit version: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpPM-5TJIZ0&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Yesterday at All Saints Parish Father Michael Harvey delivered one of those Homilies that sent my mind and soul all over the map. I like Father Harvey. I wasn’t sure about him at first. He had the massive shoes of Father Mark Ballard to fill, so the deck was stacked against him…  [Read More]

In Defense of Patrick Kennedy

by Bill Brenner February 13, 2010 Addiction

The youngest son of Edward M. Kennedy has often been criticized as a lightweight Congressman who gets away with things other people would get arrested for. But the author salutes him anyway. Here’s why. Patrick Kennedy, the youngest child of the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, announced yesterday that he won’t be running for re-election to the Congressional seat he has held since 1995. Some will tell you it’s just as well. The Congressman, after…  [Read More]

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