February 2011

We Need Routines, Part 2

by Bill Brenner February 28, 2011 Addiction

Here’s one reason February has been such a bitch: My routine has been so far off the rails that it has been hard to keep my perspective. It hurts the whole family-work dynamic. For a person in recovery, routines are beyond huge. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YzKLRM-pr4&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Being the┬árestless,┬áboredom-shunning soul that I am, I always look forward to the next trip. I always miss my wife and children during these outings, but it’s also good to…  [Read More]

Searching for the Middle Speed

by Bill Brenner February 27, 2011 Work-life balance

You’ve heard the old saying about addicts: They lack the middle speed so-called normal people have access to. It’s all or nothing for us, and a couple weeks ago I started to pay for it. You could say everyone around me has been paying for it. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5SuiywnBuo&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] The problem comes wrapped in a blessing. In my recovery from addiction and mental disorder, I’ve gained a hunger for all the things I used…  [Read More]

New Facebook page

by Bill Brenner February 26, 2011 Uncategorized

As part of my effort to bring discipline to how this blog is distributed, I’ve created a new Facebook page. It’s not complete, but getting there. In addition to the latest posts I will include musical selections and random questions designed to generate some useful discussion. The page is HERE. Please go in and “Like” it. Thanks.

The Most Infuriating Journalist I Ever loved

by Bill Brenner February 25, 2011 Gratitude

The other day I had to replace a ruptured tire on my car. For a few minutes, as I pondered where to go and what to buy, I remembered that damn tire in the garage. Peter Sugarman gave me that tire about a week before he choked on food, losing oxygen just long enough to render him brain dead. That was in 2004, right before the Memorial Day holiday weekend. His death was probably the…  [Read More]

Learning to Adapt and Liking It. Maybe

by Bill Brenner February 24, 2011 Coping tools

Of all the things I’ve always been considered pretty good at — writing, drawing, etc. — one of the things I’ve never appreciated enough is my ability to adapt. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Bh7eE3zW2c&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] When OCD is out of control, adapting to change is pure hell. You want everything just so, in just the right amount and the right amount of order. Change anything and the person who loses control goes into a tailspin. But in…  [Read More]

A Message from the ‘Obsessive Poster’

by Bill Brenner February 23, 2011 Adventures in writing

Today I got a first since starting this blog — someone on Facebook who told me he was unfriending me because of what I write here.   I won’t tell you the person’s name, though I will say I used to work with him at another company. Since his anonymity is intact, I’ll share the rest of the letter: Subject: why I’m unfriending you “Bill, I’ve grown to find your OCD posts too painful and…  [Read More]

A Visit to Duncan’s Doctor

by Bill Brenner February 23, 2011 Children's issues

Monday Erin and I visited with the head doctor at the medical office we’ve taken the children to since they were born. The subject: Duncan’s behavior. The boy has a heart of gold and a razor-sharp wit, but as I’ve written before, winter messes with his mind as badly as it does mine. He’s always had his quirks, as we all do. Some of them are disruptive enough that we decided to have him evaluated….  [Read More]

Get the Funk Out

by Bill Brenner February 22, 2011 Music therapy

I’ve been in one hell of a funk in recent days. I explain why here and here. Getting sick didn’t help matters. But I’m just about ready to come back out. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL4qYwJjnCY&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] See, I believe in the words a friend recently scrawled on her Facebook page: “If you’re going through Hell, keep going.” I’ve always believed in that. And while I backslide in spectacularly pathetic fashion at times, I never stay down for…  [Read More]

Face the Music

by Bill Brenner February 21, 2011 Coping tools

No, not THAT music. I’ve done plenty of that in recent days. I’ve done the best I can to right some wrongs, and now the healing process continues with some of my favorite medicine. Allow me to share some with you: The Stooges is a good place to start. I looove these guys. Such a collection of misfits. Such raw power: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSN-Y1W4Jm4&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Winter’s been getting to me and I’ve been thinking of warm places lately….  [Read More]

Better

by Bill Brenner February 21, 2011 Uncategorized

I’m starting to come out of my funk of recent days, though I’m still not quite on my feet yet. My posts have been a lot darker than usual. I suppose that’s life. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3OlYSgCUIys&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Coffee is starting to taste like coffee again, and that’s progress. I stayed awake yesterday afternoon. That’s progress, too. I don’t have much to write about today. I need to continue to take a step back and get my…  [Read More]