Bill Brenner

Run Out of Town (Or Off Facebook, Twitter)

by Bill Brenner September 16, 2010 Communication Skills

One of my security friends thinks she needs to delete her social network accounts because she lacks social skills. She tends to offend people sometimes, you see, and she wants to go away until she can learn to behave. Though admirable, it’s a bad idea for lots of reasons. At the height of my mental illness and addictive behavior, social skills were alien to me. Isolating myself from the rest of the world was the…  [Read More]

The C Group of Paul Revere

by Bill Brenner September 14, 2010 Children's issues

Two things can doom a kid to a future of depression and addiction: Overprotective parents and clueless school districts. This is a post about both. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9dW8_qOjzQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] Neither case is one of evil. It’s about good intentions gone wrong. I think of the old saying, “The path to hell is paved with good intentions.” In the case of overbearing parents, this was only partly true for me. My father was all about pushing me…  [Read More]

Alone vs. Isolation

by Bill Brenner September 13, 2010 Coping tools

One of the big things I’ve struggled with over the years is when it’s OK to be alone and when it’s not. I spent a lot of years in isolation. I’m slowly realizing isolation and alone aren’t necessarily the same thing. Isolation never amounts to anything positive for me. Alone does — when I let it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk7jVsiWb3o&fs=1&hl=en_US] I spent a lot of years in isolation when I was sickest with the OCD and…  [Read More]

Walking Toward Sanity

by Bill Brenner September 12, 2010 Coping tools

As a kid living on Revere Beach, long walks were my lifeline to sanity. At least once a day, I walked the entire length of the crescent-shaped coastline, from the edge of Revere Beach Boulevard to the city’s border with Winthrop. In more recent years, I haven’t walked much. But recent events are rekindling my love for it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwKEdFoUB0o&fs=1&hl=en_US] I spent a lot of time walking around New York City this morning. I’m…  [Read More]

Sept. 11, 2001

by Bill Brenner September 10, 2010 Depression

Everyone remembers where they were and what they were doing on Sept. 11, 2001. Here’s my own account. Mood music: I was assistant New Hampshire editor at The Eagle-Tribune and I arrived in the newsroom at 4:30 a.m. as usual. I was already in a depressed mood. It wasn’t a sense of dread over something bad about to happen. It was simply my state of mind at the time. I wasn’t liking myself and was…  [Read More]

Fear of the Fat Man’s Pants

by Bill Brenner September 9, 2010 Political discourse

The Esquire Magazine Style Blog has a fascinating read on pant sizes that brings back a lot of fat guy memories. And though I’m not nearly as heavy as I was at the height of my binge-eating disorder, this tale of fat man’s pants still resonates. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q15a15LYYNg&fs=1&hl=en_US] The author, Abram Sauer, recounts a painful moment when he tried on a size 36 pants and found them too tight. He did some digging and…  [Read More]

The Mood Swings Low

by Bill Brenner September 8, 2010 Depression

For reasons not immediately clear to me, I’m in the midst of a mood swing. The day started off well enough, so as a little exercise I’m going to bang on this keyboard and see if I can figure out what’s what. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYUm5T8uQIY&fs=1&hl=en_US] I woke up at 4 a.m. tired but happy. I was out late last night at one of the planning meetings for a weekend Catholic retreat I’m on team for…  [Read More]

Surrender Does Not Mean Give Up

by Bill Brenner September 8, 2010 Addiction

In my journey through Faith and recovery, I hear the word “surrender” over and over again. I used to hate the word for the same reason you might hate it. To surrender means to give up, toss in the towel and go home defeated, right? Not exactly. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e04OBJzbvc&fs=1&hl=en_US] Let’s see if I can sort it out by the end of this entry. If you look up the word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, you…  [Read More]

A Sister’s Battle with Depression

by Bill Brenner September 7, 2010 Children's issues

This blog is chock full of my own experiences with depression and addiction. I even hint here and there about how the addictive behavior runs in the family. But I’ve avoided the story of depression among siblings until now. This post is about my older sister, who had it much harder than me, and whose progress over the years has inspired me.   I haven’t mentioned it up to this point because it’s her story…  [Read More]

The Power of Nothing

by Bill Brenner September 6, 2010 Marriage and relationships

I haven’t written anything new since Friday and don’t plan to today (well, except for this). Last time I took a break I got a bunch of e-mails from people asking if I was OK. I appreciate that, but no need to worry. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxytSH_piRQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] The last two days I re-posted a bunch of older entries. That was for newer readers who asked me to flag older posts that were important to the larger…  [Read More]

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