Bill Brenner

The Pedophile, Part 2

by Bill Brenner August 5, 2010 Addiction

A childhood-friend-turned-convicted-pedophile was kicked off Facebook a few days ago, much to my relief. But his case makes it uncomfortably clear just how dangerous social networking can be in the hands of an addict — including me. Mood music:  Before I go further, here’s the original blog post I wrote about this guy about a week ago. That’ll give you all the background you need for what follows. After talking to him on the phone,…  [Read More]

A Lesson in Anger Management

by Bill Brenner August 4, 2010 Coping tools

As I’ve told readers before, I used to have a vicious anger streak. A big trigger used to be getting stuck in traffic. So I was surprised by my reaction yesterday when a sinkhole on I-93 North turned a 45-minute ride into a nearly 3-hour ordeal. I left the SANS Boston conference at 1:30 p.m., planning to finish up some work projects from home for the rest of the afternoon. I hit the traffic jam…  [Read More]

AA vs. OA: 12-Step Dysfunction

by Bill Brenner August 3, 2010 Addiction

The folks you find in Overeater’s Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous often mix well. But when they don’t, well… Mood music: “Dead End Justice” by The Runaways: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8jhAzSZYfg&hl=en_US&fs=1] I’ve noticed lately that there are more folks coming into OA that have also been in AA. Some of them have been sober for more than two decades. Now they need OA because in the process of putting down the booze, they developed a food addiction. I know…  [Read More]

Riding The Blue Pill

by Bill Brenner August 2, 2010 Coping tools

Today an experiment begins. Though it’s still summer, I’m going back up an extra 20 MG on the Prozac. The goal: Avoid the deep slide into depression that usually comes just in time for the Christmas season. Mood music: “She Rides” by Danzig: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnizbRoqv84&hl=en_US&fs=1] I was at 60 MG for the winter and most of the spring, but dialed it back to 40 in May. The reason I’m going back up, though I feel fine,…  [Read More]

Marley’s Ghost

by Bill Brenner August 1, 2010 Gratitude

I’ve written a lot in this blog about Sean Marley, my friend and brother, who took his life in 1996. It’s been unavoidable. He left a huge mark on my life in ways dark and wonderful. Yesterday was all about the latter. Mood music: “Hollywood” by The Runaways: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWSoOnSfk_8&hl=en_US&fs=1] With Erin working and the kids camping with their grandparents, I found myself in the rare situation where I had a lot of time on my…  [Read More]

Friends Who Help You Heal, Part 2

by Bill Brenner July 30, 2010 Addiction

For a lot of years, I didn’t have many friends. It’s not that people didn’t like me. It’s just that I chose to isolate from the rest of the world for a long time. People with mental illness and addiction do that sort of thing. Mood music: “Damn Good” by David Lee Roth: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mIP7ySBXBg&hl=en_US&fs=1] I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately, because these days I seem to be spreading myself thin making plans with…  [Read More]

When to Let the OCD Run Hot

by Bill Brenner July 29, 2010 Coping tools

Sometimes the best way to deal with OCD when it runs hot is to simply let it run its course. That’s one of the things I’m learning about myself. Mood music for this post: “Check My Brain” by Alice in Chains: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OK1HRqP-fg&hl=en_US&fs=1] I’ve gotten pretty good at managing the disorder most of the time. Medication certainly helps, as do the therapy appointments and various coping tools I’ve developed over time. But even with those things,…  [Read More]

Was Abe Lincoln Really Honest?

by Bill Brenner July 28, 2010 Lighthearted

Readers of this blog may have seen one of my earliest posts on Abraham Lincoln and how he suffered with serious mental illness and depression. I revere him because he developed his own coping mechanisms to rise above it in a time when there were no anti-depressant medicines and medical understanding of the problem was all but non-existent. It’s been written that his depression and the coping tools he developed actually fueled his greatness. The…  [Read More]

A Good Day

by Bill Brenner July 27, 2010 Gratitude

These are the ingredients of a good day: –Getting up at 4 and writing in this blog with a strong cup of coffee on the table beside me and Korn in the headphones. –Seeing the sun rise from my living room chair at 5:30. –Talking to my OA sponsor at 6:15. –Talking to one of fellows I sponsor in OA at 7:30. –Having an abstinent breakfast with the family and helping Erin get the kids…  [Read More]

The Breaking Point

by Bill Brenner July 27, 2010 Mental health

Even when you learn to manage OCD it’s still there, biding its time in the background, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Most of the time, it only gets the chance to pounce if you let it. Mood music: “Coming Undone” by Korn [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioJ9ZHqzMT0&hl=en_US&fs=1] Lately, I’ve been giving the demon all the rope it needs to hang me. I’ve been pushing myself hard with work, looking for more events to travel to and setting…  [Read More]

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