Addiction

A Recovery Under Pressure

by Bill Brenner June 14, 2011 Addiction

The coming days and weeks are going to put my recovery program to the test like nothing I’ve experienced since getting the OCD under control and bringing my binge-eating addiction to heel. That’s not a complaint, or a cry for sympathy. It’s simply the way it is. It’s life. By being honest with myself about what’s coming, I stand a better chance of holding it together. Yesterday I visited my father, who’s been in the…  [Read More]

For Veterans, A Holiday Here and There Isn’t Enough

by Bill Brenner May 30, 2011 Addiction

Funny thing about holidays where we honor veterans: Everyone puts those who have fought for our freedom on a pedestal for the day, then the next day some of us go back to treating the same people like garbage. Mood music: http://youtu.be/V-zqIS7vWbY Flashback: September, 2010: I’m walking the streets of Brooklyn on a beautiful night, and a guy comes up to me. He has a hole in his head where his left eye used to…  [Read More]

What’s YOUR Insanity?

by Bill Brenner May 23, 2011 Addiction

“Paint a garbage can platinum and underneath, it’s still a garbage can.” Nikki Sixx In Chapter 3 of the AA Big Book, we’re introduced to an alcoholic named Jim. He has a successful business until he starts drinking at age 35 in an attempt to dull a nervous tick, and everything goes to hell. From pages 35-36: “In a few years he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be committed. On leaving the…  [Read More]

The Easier, Softer Way

by Bill Brenner May 18, 2011 Addiction

A reader asked me the other day if I still take medication for OCD. Yes, I told him. He told me that when he was diagnosed with OCD, he thought about trying something other than therapy or meds, but after a while realized that it wasn’t that easy. He’s right. Mood music: I know a lot of people who have struggled to control their own addictions and mental illnesses using alternative methods. Many times it works…  [Read More]

Say Hello To My New Friend

by Bill Brenner May 18, 2011 Addiction

One of the great things about writing this blog is that it puts me in touch with some cool people. Yesterday was one of those days. Meet my newest friend, David Vanadia. He contacted me yesterday after seeing my post about how flour and sugar nearly destroyed me. It turns out he was a sugar addict who gave it up in 2005 and has been blogging about it ever since. Check out the blog, Sugar Blog:…  [Read More]

How Flour & Sugar Nearly Destroyed Me

by Bill Brenner May 17, 2011 Addiction

When people ask about my giving up flour and sugar, they have an easy time grasping the raw health benefits. What’s harder for them to understand is how these things can form a mixture as addictive as heroin. Here’s my attempt to explain it. First, the point I need to make is that for us addicts, the substance isn’t the root of our problem. Two other things bring us down: –A hole in our soul…  [Read More]

Back Story Of THE OCD DIARIES

by Bill Brenner May 14, 2011 Addiction

Since I’ve been adding new readers along the way, I always get questions about why I started this thing. I recently expanded the “about” section, and that’s a good starting point. But more of a back story is in order. Mood music: Before I started THE OCD DIARIES in December 2009 with a post about depression hitting me during the holidays, I had always toyed with the idea of doing this. The reason for wanting…  [Read More]

Your Addiction Is Doing Push-ups

by Bill Brenner May 4, 2011 Addiction

I watched an interesting interview Nikki Sixx did with Dr. Drew recently. Sixx talked about his addictions and how he always has to be on guard. Dr. Drew followed that up with a line that rings so true: “Your addiction is doing push ups right now.” <object width=”853″ height=”510″><param name=”movie” value=”http://www.youtube.com/v/NjIbHmYLiyA?fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0″></param><param name=”allowFullScreen” value=”true”></param><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always”></param>[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjIbHmYLiyA&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0]</object> I know that as a binge-eating addict following the 12 Steps of Recovery, I can relapse any second. That’s…  [Read More]

‘Binge Eating? Come On, Man’

by Bill Brenner April 23, 2011 Addiction

Every now and then, someone expresses shock at my classifying a compulsive binge eating disorder as addictive behavior. So it was when an acquaintance in the infosec world contacted me this morning. Mood music: [spotify:track:0ydzdWYWIFlGBurhjEXwit] Rather than run the entire message verbatim, I’m going to address certain chunks. His text is in italics, followed my my responses. First, I want to point out that I like this guy. He does great work in our industry….  [Read More]

Coffee With My Therapist, Part 3

by Bill Brenner April 14, 2011 Addiction

I had mixed emotions as I drove to my therapy appointment this morning. On the one hand, I was pissed that half my morning was getting blown out for the appointment. I wasn’t happy about all the tasks bearing down on me, either. On the other hand, the coffee I got at Starbucks was pretty damn good and the ride allowed me to get my fill of vintage Ozzy and Randy Rhoads. Mood music: [youtube…  [Read More]

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