Depression

Me and My Wall

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2010 Addiction

When I get tired and angry, I have this wall I put up. Erin is usually the one who crashes into it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpAbUvl3eTk&fs=1&hl=en_US] She’s been building a freelance editing business for the past year, and the hours she puts in would kill a lesser person. I’ve taken on a lot of extra things around the house to help, and for the last week or so the fatigue and frustration has set in. Not…  [Read More]

Passing Insanity to Your Kids

by Bill Brenner November 1, 2010 Children's issues

This weekend a friend asked if I worry about passing the “crazies” on to my children. The answer: Every day. But here’s why I don’t despair about it like I used to. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZeybYbTblM&fs=1&hl=en_US] First, a few facts: Some of my quirks were definitely passed down to me from my parents. The OCD comes straight from my mother, and the emotional wall I sometimes put up to deal with it comes from my father….  [Read More]

Out of the Closet, Into the Light

by Bill Brenner October 23, 2010 Addiction

My kid sister-in-law told me a friend of hers has admitted to some hefty demons. I won’t mention the person’s name (I don’t know her, actually), but I know where she’s been. Mood music: [spotify:track:5F6rwEF15hN1jnhNk2YQHn] This is a little message for her friend, in the event she someday stumbles upon this blog: Outing yourself is a hard thing to do. When I did it, I was terrified at first because I thought my mental struggles…  [Read More]

One More Thing About Being Depressed and Gay…

by Bill Brenner October 20, 2010 Depression

A lot of folks have left comments on my post about homosexuality and depression. All of them are excellent, thoughtful responses and I hope you’ll check them out. But there’s one response I’m puzzled over. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOx37_h0UH8&fs=1&hl=en_US] It came from David Nedlin, operations manager at Beyond the 12 Steps. He left the following comment in the “Mental Health and Addiction Specialist” forum on LinkedIn, where I sometimes post my blog entries: “Ridiculous post – I thought this…  [Read More]

Depression and Being Gay

by Bill Brenner October 16, 2010 Depression

One of the big debates that has always irked me is about whether homosexuals are born that way or if they just wake up one morning and decide to be that way. Having a gay sister, aunt and cousin-in-law, I have something to say about that. I’m sure there are a few people who decide to give it a try as a lifestyle choice. That’s their business. But every gay person I’ve ever met didn’t…  [Read More]

Back in the Real World, Emotionally Drained

by Bill Brenner October 11, 2010 Depression

I’m back from a very powerful, emotionally draining weekend. It was absolutely wonderful. I came closest as I ever have to crying a few times. More on that later. For now, here’s the talk I gave Saturday morning. I’ve embedded no links and all typos and rough edges are included. I’m sure you’ll give me a pass on that this time. Everything my new brothers shared this weekend stays between us. I’m only posting this…  [Read More]

43 Years Through The Minefield

by Bill Brenner October 3, 2010 Coping tools

Today is my sister Wendi’s 43rd birthday. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate the day than to explain what she’s been through and how far she has come. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MceneYWgPc4&fs=1&hl=en_US] A Sister’s Battle with Depression This blog is chock full of my own experiences with depression and addiction. I even hint here and there about how the addictive behavior runs in the family. But I’ve avoided the story of depression among siblings until now….  [Read More]

Say Hello to My New Limit

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2010 Coping tools

Another mood swing this afternoon. The dark, brooding sky appears to be rubbing off on me. The happy lamp helps, but if I sit in front of it too long I get the sweats. And it’s not the same as sunshine. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMWhk4u2c4g&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’ve been having a lot of these episodes lately, and it worries me. It’s most likely the result of my sleep pattern being out of whack. I alternate between too much…  [Read More]

Debunking the Shrink Stigma

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2010 Depression

A friend was telling me yesterday that he can relate to this blog. In a whisper, he said, “I see a therapist.” When people tell me that, it’s usually in the same hushed tone. Clearly, we have another stigma to shred. I’m not sure why people are so hush-hush about this sort of thing. Maybe it’s because I outed myself so long ago. But I just don’t think people should be embarrassed about seeing a…  [Read More]

The Amityville Obsession

by Bill Brenner September 28, 2010 Children's issues

Part of my obsessive-compulsive behavior includes a study of the more morbid pieces of history. The Manson murders is one example. The Amityville murders is another. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with the latter. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72rWAe0pUdQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] The match for the fire is a book I just read called “The Night The DeFeos Died” by Ric Osuna. The book goes a long way in crushing the bullshit hoax about the house being haunted. I watched “The…  [Read More]

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