Depression

Just a Little Patience

by Bill Brenner May 26, 2010 Addiction

I recently stumbled upon this live version of GnR’s “Patience” and wanted to post it here because it’s always been an inspirational song to me. Being an OCD-wired control freak with a knack for impatience and  endless attempts at recovery before I finally pulled it off, patience was a virtue I simply did not possess. It would be a stretch to say I’ve mastered it at this point in my life, but I at least…  [Read More]

It’s a Disease, Not a Choice

by Bill Brenner May 26, 2010 Addiction

An open letter to those who are angry with a loved one whose addictions are off the rails. Mood music: This is one of those posts where I’m leaving names out to protect privacy. Still, the person this is meant for will know it’s for them, and he/she will be pissed at me. But that’s OK, because I’m saying something that needs to be said. Right now, someone close to you has relapsed into alcoholism….  [Read More]

Hitting Bottom: Songs and Backstory

by Bill Brenner May 23, 2010 Addiction

Hitting bottom is the moment of truth for an addict, whether the shackles are made of heroin, booze or food. I’ve been there. You have a choice: Clean up your act or die a painful death that can be either quick or slow. People ask me all the time about my big moment. The answer is that there wasn’t that one dramatic moment of hitting bottom. It was more a series of bottoms. It was…  [Read More]

My Personal Ground Zero

by Bill Brenner May 19, 2010 Courage

A walk past Ground Zero takes the author from the darkness to the light. Mood music for this post: “The Engine Driver” by The Decemberists: If ever there was a day when I could relapse my way into McDonald’s to down $40 bags of junk and wash it down with four glasses of wine, this was it. My mood took a deep dive this afternoon. And the source was the last thing I would have…  [Read More]

The Mental Illness Stigma That Won’t Die

by Bill Brenner May 18, 2010 Communication Skills

The author came clean about his own battles with mental illness and addiction exactly because of stupidity like this… Mood music for this post: “Push Comes to Shove” by Van Halen, from the “Fair Warning” album: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3aW7oofNgs&hl=en_US&fs=1&] Kay Lazar from The Boston Globe wrote a story this week that sent my blood boiling. My problem wasn’t with the reporting or writing. She does a fine job. It’s the topic that burns. The story, available here,…  [Read More]

The Brenners Invade The White House

by Bill Brenner May 17, 2010 Addiction

The author on returning from a journey that would have been impossible a few years ago. It’s 5:30 a.m. and I’m running on less than four hours of sleep, so excuse any typos that follow… I’m back in my “sunrise chair” the morning after returning from one hell of a road trip that included a private tour of the White House West Wing, a stay at buddy Alex Howard’s place and a stay with our…  [Read More]

Digging Through Trash, Finding Treasure

by Bill Brenner May 8, 2010 Depression

I’ve slowly been digging through a bunch of old boxes I put in storage in my father’s Saugus warehouse, and while I have yet to find my old journals, I did strike some gold in today’s rummage fest. The biggest find of all: my late brother’s high school yearbook, which he never lived to see. Near the end of the book they put a page in tribute to him. Also in the pile: A very…  [Read More]

Shakin’ the (Empty) Money Maker

by Bill Brenner May 7, 2010 Addiction

The author on keeping sane when you gotta make do with less. Mood music for this post:”What’s It Gonna Take” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wredTXeMS64&hl=en_US&fs=1&] It’s easy to come undone when the money supply tightens up. Just about everyone I know is feeling the financial hurt these days. In our case, we chose to take on the world of financial hurt. Erin has a cool editing business that deserves a chance to flourish and we had…  [Read More]

Birthdays of the Dead

by Bill Brenner May 3, 2010 Addiction

The author observes another birthday for someone who isn’t around to celebrate. Mood music for this post: “On With The Show” by Motley Crue: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyapJ9iCWxA&hl=en_US&fs=1&] I’m a lot better at remembering the day someone died than the day they were born. I guess that’s understandable. Birthdays come and go. Death dates for those who are close burn a scar into your brain that makes the moment feel like it only happened seconds ago. Even if…  [Read More]

Hitting Bottom

by Bill Brenner May 2, 2010 Addiction

The author didn’t hit rock bottom before he got help. He hit several bottoms. Mood music for this post: “Coma White” by Marylin Manson: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQPJYnr48yU&hl=en_US&fs=1&] You’ve heard a million variations of the story from people who have battled depression and addiction. At some point they hit bottom and have that moment of clarity when they realize they have two choices: Get help or die. Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue’s moment of truth was in December…  [Read More]

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