Fear and anxiety

Be Yourself, Even If People Hate You For It

by Bill Brenner October 3, 2011 Communication Skills

The more I talk to fellow recovering addicts and emotional defects, the more I realize we have one big thing in common: We want to please everyone and be loved for it. Unfortunately, it’s an impossible goal that can lead to crushing disappointment. Mood music: It’s an especially stinging problem in the age of social networking, where some people have learned to measure their worth by how many “friends” and “followers” they have. Facebook in…  [Read More]

Three Years (Almost) Clean

by Bill Brenner October 1, 2011 Addiction

Three years ago yesterday, I went on my last binge. Actually, it was more like reaching the end of a final, two-month long binge. The abstinent and sober life hasn’t been perfect by any stretch. But it beats the hell out of where I was at the start. Mood music: http://youtu.be/IKpEoRlcHfA Compulsive overeating was my biggest, most destructive addiction. It led to health problems that only got worse with time. I became a waste of space and fell short…  [Read More]

Steve Clark Lost His Battle But Helped Me With Mine

by Bill Brenner September 29, 2011 Addiction

I’ve been listening to a ton of Def Leppard this week. It started when I caught two documentaries on the making of “Pyromania” and “Hysteria” on Youtube. I’m remembering what this band did for me during my troubled teenage years. Mood music: http://youtu.be/DOxHmzO1498 One of the big points in both documentaries is that those albums wouldn’t have been the classics they became without the late guitarist Steve Clark. When we think of this band, we…  [Read More]

Finish What You Started

by Bill Brenner September 28, 2011 Adventures in writing

Funny thing about people who suffer from serious mental illness: They tend to make all these big plans but never really follow through with anything. I don’t fault them. For one thing, they have an illness. Also, I used to be just like them. Mood music: [spotify:track:37A5wFomo4EVz5tGInAynI] Watching the start-stop-start-thud behavior of a friend is reminding me of what I used to do. My friend, who I won’t name, always has some big plans afoot….  [Read More]

Midwest Center For Fraud And Bullshit: Epilogue

by Bill Brenner September 27, 2011 Coping tools

When I wrote about spending $450 on the Midwest Center for Stress & Anxiety program designed to help people defeat anxiety and depression, I had no idea that it would strike nerves the way it has. The post, written on Jan. 2, 2011, is easily the biggest traffic generator of this blog on a daily basis. Some days it gets so many page views that I’m left dumbfounded. It has also gotten by far the most comments of…  [Read More]

Entourage Disease

by Bill Brenner September 27, 2011 Communication Skills

Entourage Disease: A disease where the sufferer surrounds him or herself with people as a shield against painful encounters. Mood music: The sufferer will show up in a hospital room, at a family party or a funeral surrounded by up to six people. Usually the number is about three. If it’s a hospital visit and the room is really small, the sufferer will be brave and only come in with one hanger on. There are…  [Read More]

Narcissism Is A Fatal Illness

by Bill Brenner September 26, 2011 Communication Skills

Call it what you will: Narcissism. Selfishness. Ego. We’re all a little full of ourselves. But people like me are worse than others. It’s a shameful thing, but it’s the truth. People with addictive tendencies tend to be the most selfish souls alive. Mood music: [spotify:track:76Je5Wklky23mVoxiRszcN] And that’s why we have Step 3 in the 12 Steps of Recovery: “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we…  [Read More]

Why Is This Blog So Dark?

by Bill Brenner September 24, 2011 Addiction

People occasionally ask me why this blog covers so much dark ground. Let’s see if I can explain: My life has been much like any typical run. We all go through our sad and tragic episodes, with a lot of good times and beautiful experiences mixed in. There are happy moments and terrible moments. Some get swallowed up by the darkness and descend into a life of crime, addiction and death. Others find a way…  [Read More]

Be Yourself, And Let The Chips Fall Wherever

by Bill Brenner September 23, 2011 Addiction

If someone doesn’t like you, too bad for them. Mood music: From the good folks at “Choose Happiness” — something to keep in mind when people get all snotty and hypocritical about who you are and what you do:

Paranoia Was My Destroyer

by Bill Brenner September 21, 2011 Addiction

There’s a particularly insidious side of my OCD that I have to fight hard to contain, because it’s the thing most likely to destroy me. This is a story about paranoia. Mood music: Let’s start with a definition from Wikipedia: Paranoia is a thought process believed to be heavily influenced by anxiety or fear, often to the point of irrationality and delusion. Paranoid thinking typically includes persecutory beliefs, or beliefs of conspiracy concerning a perceived threat towards oneself. Anxiety and fear once played a major…  [Read More]

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