Grief management

A Vision of Death And Rebirth

by Bill Brenner September 12, 2011 Coping tools

At the wake for Al Marley yesterday, Father Richard C. Messina gave a stirring description of what he thinks the afterlife might look like. Mood music: He described how people get excited when a baby is on the way. “The baby will be here soon!” friends and family will say. Then the baby arrives and the aunts, uncles, grandparents and family friends come to meet the little tyke. It’s the beginning of life. That, Father Dick…  [Read More]

Deal With It, Get Over It And Get Out Of My Way

by Bill Brenner September 12, 2011 Addiction

It’s been an emotional few days. I came to the edge of a relapse. A father figure died. Then there was the 9-11 anniversary. This stuff can burn a person down to nothing. But I don’t burn like I used to. Mood music: It’s funny how people react not only to their own adversity, but that of others. Some people become incapacitated with grief when a pet dies and some of us want to say,…  [Read More]

He’s With Sean Now

by Bill Brenner September 10, 2011 Coping tools

I write a lot about my friend Sean Marley in this blog because he helped shape the man I became and the struggles I face. Right now, I’m thinking of his dad, Albert J. Marley. Mood music: Al died a couple days ago. I got the word from one of the Marley cousins, who told me, “Al is with Sean now.” I’m sad, but more than anything else, I’m grateful — grateful that he was…  [Read More]

Clearer Language From The Catholic Church On Suicide

by Bill Brenner September 5, 2011 Depression

For those, like me, who struggle with suicide, particularly how the Catholic Church feels about it, I have something useful a good friend sent to me this afternoon, presumably after reading this morning’s post. Mood music: http://youtu.be/jrRfoEEDENo From the Catechism of the Catholic Church: “2282 Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide.  2283 We should not despair of the eternal salvation…  [Read More]

A Loss Beyond All Reason and Comprehension

by Bill Brenner August 30, 2011 Coping tools

I’m praying hard for my co-worker and friend Joan Ritchie Goodchild and her husband Bryan. Bryan’s uncle and cousin were swept away in the flash flooding Tropical Storm Irene caused in Vermont Sunday. Mood music: Here’s the basics from the Burlington Free Press: The body of Rutland Water Treatment Plant Supervisor Michael Garofano, 55, was found Monday near the raging brook feeding the Rutland city reservoir he and his 24-year-old son, Mike, went to check…  [Read More]

41 Years

by Bill Brenner August 26, 2011 Addiction

Some people get depressed on their birthday. Not me. The fact that I turn 41 today is a freak of nature. But a year into my forties, I know I have more cleaning up to do. Mood music: Item: When I was sick with the Crohn’s Disease as a kid, I lost a lot of blood and developed several side ailments. I’m told by my parents that the doctor’s were going to remove the colon more than…  [Read More]

You Can’t Be Everyone’s Friend

by Bill Brenner August 24, 2011 Adventures in writing

I once wrote about an obsession with the Facebook friend count. I worried about offending people who de-friended me. Lately I realize it’s ok if I can’t be everyone’s friend. I’m even warming to the idea. Mood music: I’ve always had this stupid idea that I needed to be everyone’s friend. Even when I was bullying someone, I’d turn around and try to be their friend. I always wanted everyone in my family to like…  [Read More]

Everyone Has Opinions. Everyone Has Research. Does Anyone Have THE Answer?

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Communication Skills

Readers have been sending me all kinds of articles lately about where addiction and mental illness come from and how best to recover. It’s useful and appreciated. But there’s a missing piece. A big missing piece. Mood music: Here’s the thing about addicts: We know all the things you’re supposed to do to get well. We know full well what is good for us and what is bad. And when the itch takes over our…  [Read More]

I Have Coffee, Rock & Roll, Gum and This Keyboard. Don’t Mess With Me

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2011 Addiction

Day five without tobacco is upon me, and I’m doing OK. Uncomfortable, yes. But OK. I have other crutches to keep me tobacco free AND free of binge eating: –I have strong coffee. –I have all the Rock & Roll I want, and I’m keeping the music playing. –I’m chewing a shitload of gum and my breath has probably never been so clean and fresh. –And I have this keyboard. Writing ALWAYS helps. But I’m…  [Read More]

Caught Smoking

by Bill Brenner August 15, 2011 Addiction

You’ve heard the sorry old tale of the addict who cleaned up from the addiction that made his life unmanageable, only to pick up three more vices. That’s me. Take the surprise Erin got when opening my work bag. Mood music: She was cleaning and found earphones that belonged to me. She unzipped a front compartment in my laptop bag to put them away and had the unpleasant shock of discovering where I’d been hiding…  [Read More]

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