Marriage and relationships

They Say You Shouldn’t Go To Bed Angry

by Bill Brenner September 17, 2011 Family

When Erin and I were still engaged, we did the two-day marriage course that the Catholic Church makes you take before you can get married (Pre-Cana). We got this priceless advice early on: “Never go to bed angry with each other.” We’ve worked hard in 13 years of marriage to follow that advice. When we argue, as any married couple does, we always try to work out our differences and make up before going to…  [Read More]

For Brian On His Wedding Day

by Bill Brenner September 17, 2011 Family

My stepbrother is getting hitched today. Here’s a little song in honor of his special day:

A Vision of Death And Rebirth

by Bill Brenner September 12, 2011 Coping tools

At the wake for Al Marley yesterday, Father Richard C. Messina gave a stirring description of what he thinks the afterlife might look like. Mood music: He described how people get excited when a baby is on the way. “The baby will be here soon!” friends and family will say. Then the baby arrives and the aunts, uncles, grandparents and family friends come to meet the little tyke. It’s the beginning of life. That, Father Dick…  [Read More]

Deal With It, Get Over It And Get Out Of My Way

by Bill Brenner September 12, 2011 Addiction

It’s been an emotional few days. I came to the edge of a relapse. A father figure died. Then there was the 9-11 anniversary. This stuff can burn a person down to nothing. But I don’t burn like I used to. Mood music: It’s funny how people react not only to their own adversity, but that of others. Some people become incapacitated with grief when a pet dies and some of us want to say,…  [Read More]

My Brain Is On The Pavement. But At Least I Showered

by Bill Brenner September 9, 2011 Addiction

It’s hard to pinpoint the moment my recovery started getting wobbly and I started getting sloppy. I don’t know if it’s fully accurate to call this a relapse, but it’s pretty damn close. Mood music: One thing is certain: I’m in a shaky place lately, and this is as good a place to sort things out. Talking is always better, but sometimes I have to write it. I’ve been very tired lately, and in my…  [Read More]

This Is No Place To Make Amends

by Bill Brenner August 29, 2011 Adventures in writing

After running the post “Bully’s Remorse” a few days ago, it occurred to me that maybe, just maybe, writing it was a mistake. Or maybe it simply didn’t go far enough. Mood music: [spotify:track:5rpRzNcJZqKQXk9PIjreB6] Like many topics in this blog, I wrote it to yank another skeleton out of the closet and acknowledge that as a teenager, while I was getting bullied and should have related to others who were bullied, I just turned around…  [Read More]

41 Years

by Bill Brenner August 26, 2011 Addiction

Some people get depressed on their birthday. Not me. The fact that I turn 41 today is a freak of nature. But a year into my forties, I know I have more cleaning up to do. Mood music: Item: When I was sick with the Crohn’s Disease as a kid, I lost a lot of blood and developed several side ailments. I’m told by my parents that the doctor’s were going to remove the colon more than…  [Read More]

A Call From My Mother

by Bill Brenner August 25, 2011 Children's issues

It’s Wednesday morning. I’m working from home, face behind the computer. My kids and two neighborhood kids are tearing though the house, overturning everything in sight. Then the phone rings. Mood music: “It’s been five years,” the voice on the other end says. “Can’t we fix this?” It’s my mother. I saw her at my cousin’s wedding two weeks ago but we largely avoided contact. We’re six years into an estrangement that I think is…  [Read More]

I Pet My Peeves Until They Become Triggers

by Bill Brenner August 21, 2011 Addiction

I really hate all those pre-written, self-righteous Facebook posts. I told Erin I was going to write a post flaming all those stupid sayings. Mood music: “Tell me what that has to do with OCD?” she asked, giving me that stare she gives me when she’s certain that I’m full of shit. “It’s a trigger,” I said, not really meaning it. “It’s not a trigger. It’s a peeve. You going to go pet it now?”…  [Read More]

I Need A Lot Of Gum. And Maybe A Gun

by Bill Brenner August 19, 2011 Addiction

It’s been one week since I have smoked a cigarette or a cigar. The itch is gone but the crankiness is not. Mood music: I’m finding some relief in gum. But now I’m starting to think crazy thoughts about it. Behold: I find myself wondering if there are websites that sell exotic types of gum. I’m sure there are, though I haven’t looked yet. Beer-flavored gum? Cigar-flavored gum? Rum-flavored gum? The crazy thinking goes something…  [Read More]

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