OCD

The OCD Fidget, Caught on Video

by Bill Brenner March 22, 2011 Mental disorders

I went back and forth with myself on whether I should do this. Sure, I’ve made this blog about exposing my quirks so the masses can get a better understanding of disorders like OCD. But did I really want to show a video of me showing the signs in a work setting? Well, yeah. Not because I want you to see me as a freak or feel sorry for me, but because there’s something for…  [Read More]

What’s This Freakin’ Blog Really About, Anyway?

by Bill Brenner March 17, 2011 Addiction

I’ve gained several new readers in the past month. They have a lot of questions for me, which I like and appreciate. The most common question goes something like this: “What exactly is the focus of this blog?” Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4eVul99m50&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] It’s a fair question. Here’s the explanation. In this case the embedded links are important to seeing the whole picture. But don’t try to read them all at once. That would be insanity….  [Read More]

How Does He Work In Those Conditions?

by Bill Brenner March 16, 2011 Adventures in writing

A friend and reader wants to know how I’m able to focus at work, given the OCD person’s tendency to be consumed by worry. Here’s my answer. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1QR8c0Ns2Y&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Her specific question: I know that at times, I have a hard time not letting one thought consume me. I pray, read etc. but sometimes that thought will be all consuming and (obsessive). Just curious how you plow through that moment. I know where…  [Read More]

Side-Effects of Prozac

by Bill Brenner March 12, 2011 Depression

A friend asked if I’ve ever experienced any side-effects from the Prozac I take to help manage OCD. An excellent question. Fear of side-effects kept me from trying the medication for years. Unfortunately, I did a lot of suffering in those years that could have been avoided. I had heard all kinds of horror stories about side-effects: Weight gain, violent mood swings, acne. That stuff does happen, but it didn’t happen to me. I have…  [Read More]

Coffee With My Therapist, Part 2

by Bill Brenner March 11, 2011 Communication Skills

I paid another visit to my therapist this morning, and the discussion was a lot more productive than last week’s get-together. Last week wasn’t his fault. I went in there with a migraine. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Lz6qLQ4xSM&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] We’re continuing to work on my struggle to balance the urge to do everything with the need to slow it down. We’re working on my need for more patience as Erin and I help Duncan with his issues….  [Read More]

Why The Hell Does He Do That?

by Bill Brenner March 9, 2011 Mental disorders

My friends and family will tell you I have an arsenal of odd quirks. There’s the windmill hands. There’s the pacing, a trait my oldest son has inherited. Then there’s the fidgeting problem. Mood music (R.I.P. Mike Starr): [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9jX1KAKp78&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Ah, yes. I fidget a lot. That’s why I tend to work with my feet up on the desk. It keeps me still. When I sit like a normal person my legs start to bounce…  [Read More]

New Website for “Machine Man”

by Bill Brenner March 7, 2011 OCD

The producers of “Machine Man,” a film about a man battling OCD, have relaunched their website, which includes an excellent forum where people can share art, writing and music that reflects their personal experiences. Tonight I had the honor of speaking to Kellie Madison, the writer, director and producer of the film. She had sent me a message with her phone number, asking me to call. She urged me to sign up for the forum,…  [Read More]

The Agony of Awards

by Bill Brenner March 5, 2011 Adventures in writing

This will seem strange to some of you, maybe even ungrateful and insulting — but lately I’m looking at some of my old writing awards with disdain. I should be proud of those awards. I earned them. But every time I look at them, it’s another reminder of just how fucked up I used to be. We need reminders so we don’t repeat the same mistakes, but some memories are best left in the trash…  [Read More]

When The Grass is Greener on Your Side

by Bill Brenner March 4, 2011 Addiction

I had an eventful trip to the therapist this morning. I had a migraine and was trying hard not to puke all over his nice blue carpet. There was couple’s counseling going on in the office next door, and the walls seemed awfully thin. You could hear pretty much everything, including the wife going into a rage at her husband. Their therapist seemed to be making a valiant effort to hold it all together. My…  [Read More]

We Need Routines, Part 2

by Bill Brenner February 28, 2011 Addiction

Here’s one reason February has been such a bitch: My routine has been so far off the rails that it has been hard to keep my perspective. It hurts the whole family-work dynamic. For a person in recovery, routines are beyond huge. Mood music: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YzKLRM-pr4&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Being the restless, boredom-shunning soul that I am, I always look forward to the next trip. I always miss my wife and children during these outings, but it’s also good to…  [Read More]

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