OCD

A Message from the ‘Obsessive Poster’

by Bill Brenner February 23, 2011 Adventures in writing

Today I got a first since starting this blog — someone on Facebook who told me he was unfriending me because of what I write here.   I won’t tell you the person’s name, though I will say I used to work with him at another company. Since his anonymity is intact, I’ll share the rest of the letter: Subject: why I’m unfriending you “Bill, I’ve grown to find your OCD posts too painful and…  [Read More]

Well, That Was Stupid

by Bill Brenner February 16, 2011 Depression

Almost every time I visit the therapist, right after he asks if I’m taking the same Prozac dosage as I was at the last visit, he glares at me through his glasses and says: “Remember, never put yourself in a position where you run out.” Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRat644_o_k&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] Those words ring through my head every time I travel. I’m always paranoid about it and the first thing I do when packing is put the pills…  [Read More]

When Honesty Is A Lie

by Bill Brenner February 16, 2011 Addiction

I’ve figured out another reason for my sour mood in recent days, and now is as good a time as any to get it off my chest. Mood music: A lot of people have been coming up to me here in San Francisco praising me for being “so honest, open and courageous” in this blog. It was a similar thing when I was in Washington D.C. for ShmooCon a couple weeks ago. I appreciate those…  [Read More]

RSA 2005 (Fool in the Rain)

by Bill Brenner February 14, 2011 Fear and anxiety

As I cover RSA Conference 2011, I can’t help but think back to my first RSA trip in 2005. This isn’t about security trends then and now. It’s about my state of mind back then. Mood music (because I was listening to this one a lot back then): [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGshAiRp64Q&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I had been writing for SearchSecurity.com for less than a year, and I was in the middle stages of an emotional breakdown. I just didn’t know…  [Read More]

Snake on the Plane

by Bill Brenner February 12, 2011 Addiction

Tomorrow I get on another plane to another city — this time San Francisco. It’s time to go cover the RSA and B-Sides security events. I used to be a raving lunatic the day before a flight. Not anymore. Still, I feel uneasy this morning. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwzGvMwO-yg&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] My mind has been raw all week for a multitude of reasons. Mostly, it’s a case of winter getting to me. The sun is setting later each…  [Read More]

Some Days, I Don’t Have My Shit Together

by Bill Brenner February 10, 2011 Children's issues

A lot of people read this blog because I always try to put a silver lining on tough stuff. But some days I fail to live up to the image. Yesterday was one of those days, when I let a 7-year-old get the better of me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mX8n5IiSB-8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] You see, Duncan is like me in that too much winter messes with his mental balance. He’ll get goofy, sad and every emotion in between at…  [Read More]

The New Slavery

by Bill Brenner February 8, 2011 Addiction

I reigned in my addictions to food and alcohol. I brought the compulsive spending down to a dull roar. But the Android. The Laptop. Technology is a new addiction and I’m a slave. In some respects, it’s strange that this is now my lot in life. For most of my adulthood, I was never an early adopter of the latest gadgetry. I didn’t own an iPod until late 2008, and it’s one of the older…  [Read More]

Depressed But OK With It

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2011 Coping tools

Actually, I’m not going through a wave of depression right now. But it does come and go and I’ve had to learn how to be OK with it. A new friend who found this blog told me she’s struggling with the concept. This post is directed toward her. It’s my attempt to answer some questions she asked me about it. Mood music: [spotify:track:3p7XSsT6AFs9lCkv6FtLbj] You mentioned that you have frequent bouts of depression medication and therapy…  [Read More]

Mental Illness and Cybersecurity

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2011 Communication Skills

I want to flag you all to a post I just wrote in my security blog, Salted Hash, on CSOonline.com. It’s based on the opening talk at the ShmooCon security conference in Washington D.C. The speaker, Marsh Ray, uses the fragile mental condition as the basis of a talk called “A paranoid schizophrenia-based model of data security.” The post I wrote could easily work as a post in this blog. But the most appropriate audience…  [Read More]

Do TV Shows About OCD Make Me Angry?

by Bill Brenner January 22, 2011 Communication Skills

A friend asked what I think of how OCD is portrayed on TV. The answer isn’t as cut and dry as you might expect. This is actually a good time to tackle the subject, because yesterday I got the following message from someone who read my “Red Bull Blues” post: My name is Rebecca and I’m a casting producer for the TLC show “Freaky Eaters.” We’re currently looking for ADULTS ADDICTED TO ENERGY DRINKS for…  [Read More]

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