OCD

Pounding the Reset Button

by Bill Brenner November 24, 2010 Mental disorders

I mentioned Monday that I’ve hit a wall in my recovery program. Last night I decided some changes are in order. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9F8QM3tjkTE&fs=1&hl=en_US] Making changes is a bitch. It’s almost like admitting failure. I haven’t failed on the big things. I’ve held on to my abstinence and sobriety. But in a lot of areas I’ve gotten sloppy. A collection of tiny failures can add up. I’ve gotten bored with my current plan, and as…  [Read More]

OCD Screening Quiz

by Bill Brenner November 14, 2010 OCD

The Psych Central website has a very thorough, pretty cool test you can take to see if you have OCD. Is it wrong that I had fun taking this screening? Perhaps. Let’s see how I did… Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9tBaMlAUj08&fs=1&hl=en_US] 1. concerns with contamination (dirt, germs, chemicals, radiation) or acquiring a serious illness such as AIDS? I used to worry myself into a frenzy over colon cancer. Given my history with Crohn’s Disease, I’m at a much…  [Read More]

Passing Insanity to Your Kids

by Bill Brenner November 1, 2010 Children's issues

This weekend a friend asked if I worry about passing the “crazies” on to my children. The answer: Every day. But here’s why I don’t despair about it like I used to. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZeybYbTblM&fs=1&hl=en_US] First, a few facts: Some of my quirks were definitely passed down to me from my parents. The OCD comes straight from my mother, and the emotional wall I sometimes put up to deal with it comes from my father….  [Read More]

My OCD is Alive and Well

by Bill Brenner October 25, 2010 Coping tools

Packing for a trip to Toronto, I caught myself doing some very OCD-like things. Even in recovery, it’s always there, below the surface. Here are a few examples. Mood music: What I did: I checked all the contents in my laptop bag last night. Three times. I took the laptop out and put it back in three times. I checked my digital recorder three times. I thrice checked to make sure the bottle of Prozac…  [Read More]

Out of the Closet, Into the Light

by Bill Brenner October 23, 2010 Addiction

My kid sister-in-law told me a friend of hers has admitted to some hefty demons. I won’t mention the person’s name (I don’t know her, actually), but I know where she’s been. Mood music: [spotify:track:5F6rwEF15hN1jnhNk2YQHn] This is a little message for her friend, in the event she someday stumbles upon this blog: Outing yourself is a hard thing to do. When I did it, I was terrified at first because I thought my mental struggles…  [Read More]

OCD Awareness Week

by Bill Brenner October 13, 2010 OCD

UPDATE: If you’ve struggled with OCD, you should listen to Radio Boston at 3 p.m. People will be calling in to share their personal experiences. You can call 1-800-423-TALK or tweet @radioboston #OCDawareness! Given all the sharing I’ve done on my struggles with OCD, it would be downright criminal of me not to spread the word that it’s OCD Awareness Week. The International OCD Foundation has done a lot of stellar work to break down the…  [Read More]

Say Hello to My New Limit

by Bill Brenner September 30, 2010 Coping tools

Another mood swing this afternoon. The dark, brooding sky appears to be rubbing off on me. The happy lamp helps, but if I sit in front of it too long I get the sweats. And it’s not the same as sunshine. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMWhk4u2c4g&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’ve been having a lot of these episodes lately, and it worries me. It’s most likely the result of my sleep pattern being out of whack. I alternate between too much…  [Read More]

Happily Ever After Is Bullshit & That’s OK

by Bill Brenner September 21, 2010 Addiction

Often, when depression slaps me upside the head, it’s on the heels of a prolonged period of good feelings and positive energy. Especially this time of year, when the daylight recedes early and returns late. These setbacks can be discouraging, but you can survive them with the right perspective. Mood music: It’s easy for people who fight mental illness and addictive behavior to go on an endless, futile search for the happily ever after, where…  [Read More]

The OCD Curse Meets the OCD Blessing

by Bill Brenner September 17, 2010 Gratitude

Something interesting happened yesterday. The OCD was running hot all afternoon and kicking my ass. Then, when I wasn’t expecting it, it gave me a second wind that worked out for everyone. Mood music: [spotify:track:4AAwBktkUB8LXGy5xNW3Rc] I was running around trying to get things done before going to a National Information Security Group (NAISG) meeting and the kids were in their usual state of after-school chaos. Duncan was sitting over his homework, not really getting anything…  [Read More]

The Mood Swings Low

by Bill Brenner September 8, 2010 Depression

For reasons not immediately clear to me, I’m in the midst of a mood swing. The day started off well enough, so as a little exercise I’m going to bang on this keyboard and see if I can figure out what’s what. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYUm5T8uQIY&fs=1&hl=en_US] I woke up at 4 a.m. tired but happy. I was out late last night at one of the planning meetings for a weekend Catholic retreat I’m on team for…  [Read More]

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →