OCD

A Sister’s Battle with Depression

by Bill Brenner September 7, 2010 Children's issues

This blog is chock full of my own experiences with depression and addiction. I even hint here and there about how the addictive behavior runs in the family. But I’ve avoided the story of depression among siblings until now. This post is about my older sister, who had it much harder than me, and whose progress over the years has inspired me.   I haven’t mentioned it up to this point because it’s her story…  [Read More]

Spitting in the Eye of Hurricane Earl

by Bill Brenner September 3, 2010 Fear and anxiety

I used to be terrified of hurricanes. The fear and anxiety in me would latch onto these storms like Crazy Glue. Yet with Hurricane Earl approaching New England, I’m feeling strangely apathetic. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGfKi6kpdTQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] Maybe it’s because I don’t live on the coast anymore. In Haverhill, we’re not expecting much from Earl. Some of it is definitely because a lot of the storm-driven fear left me when I brought the OCD under control. Let’s…  [Read More]

Discriminating Against Head Cases

by Bill Brenner September 1, 2010 Communication Skills

I’ve seen plenty of examples of failed justice in my day: A judge letting an abusive dirt-bag dad get unsupervised weekend visits just because he reappeared after a few years. A thrice convicted pedophile being let back out on the streets. I never expected to hear about the court discriminating against someone for having OCD. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI3RneGO_ks&fs=1&hl=en_US] I usually try not to write posts in response to comments that flow into this blog. I…  [Read More]

Dreading the Darkness

by Bill Brenner August 31, 2010 Depression

It’s 5:12 a.m. on Aug. 31, and it’s still dark outside. I already miss the 4:30 a.m. daylight of a couple months ago. Looks like my anti-depression experiment is underway. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PntIAwAe20M&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’ve mentioned before that the fall and winter are usually periods of depression for me. There are two reasons. The first is that some ugly things have happened to me in previous winters. But the bigger reason is that the hours of…  [Read More]

More Bullshit About Mental Illness

by Bill Brenner August 30, 2010 Communication Skills

Every once in awhile I read something on mental illness that sends my blood boiling. Please indulge me while I rant about one such item. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPfkK7bcyfE&fs=1&hl=en_US] I recently tripped across a website called HeretoHelp, a project of the BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions Information. It’s a great resource for people like me who are recovering from mental illness and addictive behavior. It’s chock full of articles from medical professionals and people…  [Read More]

Wasted Worry

by Bill Brenner August 29, 2010 Mental disorders

I’ve spent many years worrying — assuming, really — that various people hated me for some of the things I’ve done. This year, I’ve been realizing what a waste of worry it’s been. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FPBi9N9hNc&fs=1&hl=en_US] By definition — my definition, anyway — OCD is worry out of control. You worry about all kinds of things beyond your control while failing to do something about the few things that you can control. Along the way,…  [Read More]

You Think Too Much

by Bill Brenner August 25, 2010 Communication Skills

I have friends who spend a lot of time raking the same problems over the coals in their heads over and over again. The worry consumes them. I always tell them, “Don’t over think these things. That’s how you get the tumors and shit.” I know, because I used to let worry incapacitate me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdZXmnLmhFM&fs=1&hl=en_US] This shouldn’t surprise readers of this blog. I’ve described it before. OCD is very much about worry spinning…  [Read More]

The Anxiety Attack

by Bill Brenner August 24, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Overcoming fear and anxiety is a major theme of this blog, and people who think they’ve experienced it often ask me to describe what it’s like for me. Mood music: It’s been about four years since experiencing a real anxiety attack, but I remember the feeling well. It starts with a worry. Maybe it’s concern that Sean and Duncan are sick. Kids below the age of 10 spike fevers all the time, especially in the…  [Read More]

The Exploding Toilet

by Bill Brenner August 23, 2010 OCD

Back when my OCD was running out of control, one of my many fixations was cleanliness. If a toilet or sink backed up and spilled all over the place or one of the kids threw up, my brain would spin until it detached from its stem. With that in mind, this was a weekend of real progress. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HkjrSc51BA&fs=1&hl=en_US] Saturday, the kitchen sink backed up with dirty, putrid-green water and an entire bottle of…  [Read More]

An Exaggerated Response

by Bill Brenner August 20, 2010 Communication Skills

A reader asked me for my thoughts on “rollercoastering,” that exaggerated response to life’s normal challenges that creates high drama and the feeling of being on a rollercoaster. Hell yes, I’ve been on that ride. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I6y5-GuLPM&fs=1&hl=en_US] Here’s what my new friend had to say by e-mail (name kept anonymous to protect privacy): “Part of my addiction(s) is experiencing an exaggerated response to normal life events. Granted, I have a history of creating drama and…  [Read More]

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