Sobriety and abstinence

Fear of the Fat Man’s Pants

by Bill Brenner September 9, 2010 Political discourse

The Esquire Magazine Style Blog has a fascinating read on pant sizes that brings back a lot of fat guy memories. And though I’m not nearly as heavy as I was at the height of my binge-eating disorder, this tale of fat man’s pants still resonates. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q15a15LYYNg&fs=1&hl=en_US] The author, Abram Sauer, recounts a painful moment when he tried on a size 36 pants and found them too tight. He did some digging and…  [Read More]

Surrender Does Not Mean Give Up

by Bill Brenner September 8, 2010 Addiction

In my journey through Faith and recovery, I hear the word “surrender” over and over again. I used to hate the word for the same reason you might hate it. To surrender means to give up, toss in the towel and go home defeated, right? Not exactly. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e04OBJzbvc&fs=1&hl=en_US] Let’s see if I can sort it out by the end of this entry. If you look up the word in the Merriam-Webster dictionary, you…  [Read More]

The Power of Nothing

by Bill Brenner September 6, 2010 Marriage and relationships

I haven’t written anything new since Friday and don’t plan to today (well, except for this). Last time I took a break I got a bunch of e-mails from people asking if I was OK. I appreciate that, but no need to worry. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxytSH_piRQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] The last two days I re-posted a bunch of older entries. That was for newer readers who asked me to flag older posts that were important to the larger…  [Read More]

The Clarence Syndrome

by Bill Brenner September 2, 2010 Addiction

Sometimes God puts certain people in your life to show you how you’re screwing up and how to fix it. Sometimes, these guardian angels are disguised as people who need YOUR help. This post is about one such man. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyb7dt9nz_g&fs=1&hl=en_US] In 12-Step programs anonymity is a big deal, especially in OA, because there’s an extra level of awkwardness that comes with being a binge-eating addict. So I’m changing this friend’s name to Dan….  [Read More]

Discriminating Against Head Cases

by Bill Brenner September 1, 2010 Communication Skills

I’ve seen plenty of examples of failed justice in my day: A judge letting an abusive dirt-bag dad get unsupervised weekend visits just because he reappeared after a few years. A thrice convicted pedophile being let back out on the streets. I never expected to hear about the court discriminating against someone for having OCD. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI3RneGO_ks&fs=1&hl=en_US] I usually try not to write posts in response to comments that flow into this blog. I…  [Read More]

More Bullshit About Mental Illness

by Bill Brenner August 30, 2010 Communication Skills

Every once in awhile I read something on mental illness that sends my blood boiling. Please indulge me while I rant about one such item. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPfkK7bcyfE&fs=1&hl=en_US] I recently tripped across a website called HeretoHelp, a project of the BC Partners for Mental Health and Addictions Information. It’s a great resource for people like me who are recovering from mental illness and addictive behavior. It’s chock full of articles from medical professionals and people…  [Read More]

Anatomy of a Near-Binge

by Bill Brenner August 11, 2010 Addiction

A few weeks ago I described a day in the life of a compulsive binge eater. Here’s the sequel. Even in recovery, the demon is constantly breathing down your neck. But you don’t have to let him win. Mood music: “Starve” by the Henry Rollins Band: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLvsnkQtZLI&hl=en_US&fs=1] 4 a.m.: Wake up in a hotel room, grab some coffee and start typing away on the computer. Congratulate yourself for nearly two years of abstinence from binge…  [Read More]

Saturday Morning Sanity Check

by Bill Brenner August 7, 2010 For travelers

Didn’t get up until 6 a.m., which for me is sleeping in. Kids came in the room, dragged me out of bed and down the stairs to the living room. Poured myself into the chair and used the kids as a blanket. It got cold overnight. They make good blankets. Got out of the chair after an hour and grabbed a Red Bull. Now I’m listening to this while blogging: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irskrVvKR1E&hl=en_US&fs=1] Gotta pack for the…  [Read More]

How the Recluse Became a Road Rat

by Bill Brenner August 6, 2010 For travelers

Since my OCD and anxiety used to make me deathly afraid of travel, it’s kind of weird that I do so much of it now without giving it much thought. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A47HVhzF6No&hl=en_US&fs=1] This time, me, the wife and kids are driving down to the D.C. area. Not a White House tour like we had a couple months ago, but good times all the same. The family will stay with relatives in southern Maryland for…  [Read More]

AA vs. OA: 12-Step Dysfunction

by Bill Brenner August 3, 2010 Addiction

The folks you find in Overeater’s Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous often mix well. But when they don’t, well… Mood music: “Dead End Justice” by The Runaways: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8jhAzSZYfg&hl=en_US&fs=1] I’ve noticed lately that there are more folks coming into OA that have also been in AA. Some of them have been sober for more than two decades. Now they need OA because in the process of putting down the booze, they developed a food addiction. I know…  [Read More]

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