Sobriety and abstinence

Snake on the Plane

by Bill Brenner February 12, 2011 Addiction

Tomorrow I get on another plane to another city — this time San Francisco. It’s time to go cover the RSA and B-Sides security events. I used to be a raving lunatic the day before a flight. Not anymore. Still, I feel uneasy this morning. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwzGvMwO-yg&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] My mind has been raw all week for a multitude of reasons. Mostly, it’s a case of winter getting to me. The sun is setting later each…  [Read More]

The New Slavery

by Bill Brenner February 8, 2011 Addiction

I reigned in my addictions to food and alcohol. I brought the compulsive spending down to a dull roar. But the Android. The Laptop. Technology is a new addiction and I’m a slave. In some respects, it’s strange that this is now my lot in life. For most of my adulthood, I was never an early adopter of the latest gadgetry. I didn’t own an iPod until late 2008, and it’s one of the older…  [Read More]

Oddly Enough, This Day Will Not Suck

by Bill Brenner February 2, 2011 Mental health

I’m snowed in again and both kids are home. By 6:20 a.m. they were already fighting over the family laptop. I’m dead tired. But despite it all, I’m thinking this day will NOT suck. Here’s why. –The first reason is that I started the day by listening to one of my favorite Boston bands, The Neighborhoods, covering one of my favorite Cheap Trick songs: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3QHFAPcYTM&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] –The second reason is that I got a particularly damn…  [Read More]

Never Trust a Sushi Place Built into a CVS

by Bill Brenner January 28, 2011 For travelers

Last night was one of those dinner experiences that tests someone in my type of addiction recovery program. The scene: I’ve just checked into my hotel room in Washington D.C., where I’m attending the ShmooCon security conference. I venture downstairs in search of dinner. I run into a group of friends from the security industry and they invite me out with them for dinner. I’m glad to see them and I’m hungry, so I accept….  [Read More]

Even in Sobriety, Life Must Go On

by Bill Brenner January 26, 2011 Addiction

I’ve been posting lately about some of the dysfunction I encounter among people in AA and OA. I name no names, because our anonymity is vital. But some things are worth a rant or two. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpzIlWIF24k&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I’ve ranted about folks who shove passages from the AA big book down my throat even when it’s obvious that they’re still messed up (See: Readings from the Book of Crap). I’ve also ranted about folks who…  [Read More]

Need More Proof It’s an Addiction?

by Bill Brenner January 19, 2011 Addiction

My new hero is a fellow Bostonian, Michael Prager. I mentioned him briefly yesterday as proof of what I’ve been writing here for the last year — that addictive behavior can latch onto food in destructive ways. Long before I realized I could only beat my addiction if I started treating it as such, and long before I started this blog, Prager was well on the road to recovery I now find myself on. There’s a…  [Read More]

See? I Told You It’s a Real Addiction!

by Bill Brenner January 18, 2011 Addiction

I’ve focused hard in this blog on blowing false notions to smithereens. One of those is the idea that compulsive binge eaters aren’t true addicts; that they’re just gluttons who lack discipline. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fV-5eE_gpU8&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999] My argument — already supported by a growing chorus of medical and mental health specialists — is that this is a true addiction. I’ve lived it. I know it. And the only program that worked for me is the same…  [Read More]

When Recovery Becomes the Addiction

by Bill Brenner January 18, 2011 Addiction

I’ve noticed something interesting in the halls of recovery: Some folks cling to their program so tightly that their addictive behavior latches on to the program itself. In my opinion, this can get unhealthy. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvXkAIfJOEQ&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999] To find recovery in Overeater’s Anonymous (mine is a binge-eating addiction), the only requirement is to want to stop eating compulsively. It’s very simple. There is no “OA diet.” But there are a few different food plans people…  [Read More]

Am I Too Hard on Myself?

by Bill Brenner January 5, 2011 Addiction

A friend asked that question yesterday. I’ve certainly been accused of being too hard on myself before. My step-mother reads this blog and told me I should give myself a break. Steve Lambert, former editor of The Eagle-Tribune, said I was too hard on myself when I wrote the “One of My Biggest Regrets” post. Mood music: [spotify:track:0OXjHxbrmrkpvqudvzWlDR] The short answer is that sometimes I am, most of the time I’m not. When I was…  [Read More]

It’s a Disease, Not a Choice: Part 2

by Bill Brenner January 4, 2011 Addiction

The Sunday night step study meeting I wrote about yesterday gave me more to think about than I could cram into one post. Another thing that stuck with me is how society continues to mistake addiction for choice. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cECTX3mPu1o&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0] I’ve tackled this subject many times in this blog. In the first “It’s a Disease, Not a Choice” post a few months back, I noted that the addicted brain works differently. My problem was binge…  [Read More]

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