Sobriety and abstinence

Saving My Recovery, Continued

by Bill Brenner November 29, 2010 Addiction

I huge weight is off my shoulders. I’ve gone from talking about the changes that’ll help me preserve my sobriety and abstinence to doing what I said I’d do. Mood music: Pearl Jam covering Mother Love Bone’s “Crown of Thorns” I told my sponsor that hitting the reset button means I have to replace her. She said she would never do anything to get in the way of my recovery. She’s a dear friend who…  [Read More]

How I’ll Save My Sobriety and Abstinence

by Bill Brenner November 28, 2010 Sobriety and abstinence

I mentioned a few posts ago that I’ve hit a wall in my recovery program. I shared about it at yesterday’s OA meeting, and as the day progressed, I realized what I need to do to stay sober and abstinent. MOOD MUSIC: “GRACE” BY U2. CLICK HERE TO LET IT PLAY. I should point out that I’m not depressed about having to make changes. There’s no anxiety or fear driving this. It’s just a calm,…  [Read More]

Mr. Danny

by Bill Brenner November 23, 2010 Gratitude

Just got the sad news that the mom of my friend Danny Goodwin passed away yesterday. No doubt he could use some bucking up right now, so here’s my contribution… Mood music: “Creep” by Korn I periodically write about friends who have helped me heal and deal over the years and Danny is one of them. It didn’t seem that way at first, because when we first met I was busy trying to be someone…  [Read More]

My Program at the Crossroads

by Bill Brenner November 22, 2010 Addiction

My mood was all over the place yesterday, but I couldn’t figure out why. I chalked it up to the usual things: too much to do, too tired and not enough down time. On the drive to work this morning, I started to realize what the real problem is. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqHv3L7e8-U&fs=1&hl=en_US] Now, yesterday wasn’t all bad. Mass was good, I got up and did a reading without incident, and Duncan and I marched in…  [Read More]

The Joyless Happy Meal

by Bill Brenner November 11, 2010 Addiction

I’ve been hearing a lot of stink over this toyless Happy Meal story. Maybe I can put the whole thing in perspective. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU16EBurb1Q&fs=1&hl=en_US] First, here’s the AP to tell you what happened to the beloved Happy Meal in San Francisco: Unhealthy kids’ meals to get less ‘happy’ in San Francisco San Francisco has become the first major American city to prohibit fast-food restaurants from including toys with children’s meals that do not meet…  [Read More]

Why I Hate the Saying, ‘Taking Inventory’

by Bill Brenner November 10, 2010 Addiction

A lot of my 12-Step brothers and sisters have a saying: “I’m taking inventory.” It’s supposed to be about reflecting on your own growth and behavior. But it’s really about trash talking other people. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTwNkyKKgAI&fs=1&hl=en_US] One of my friends in the program always follows the sentence “I’m just taking my inventory” with a long tirade against everyone who stared at him the wrong way that day. I give him crap about it every…  [Read More]

Me and My Wall

by Bill Brenner November 4, 2010 Addiction

When I get tired and angry, I have this wall I put up. Erin is usually the one who crashes into it. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpAbUvl3eTk&fs=1&hl=en_US] She’s been building a freelance editing business for the past year, and the hours she puts in would kill a lesser person. I’ve taken on a lot of extra things around the house to help, and for the last week or so the fatigue and frustration has set in. Not…  [Read More]

Alcohol Deadlier Than Heroin?

by Bill Brenner November 2, 2010 Addiction

I love studies that state the obvious. Especially when the no-brainer conclusions still manage to shock people . Latest example: “Alcohol More Deadly Than Heroin, Study Finds.” Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSih4o2YfmA&fs=1&hl=en_US] According to the Associated Press report, “British experts evaluated substances including alcohol, cocaine, heroin, ecstasy and marijuana, ranking them based on how destructive they are to the individual who takes them and to society as a whole. Researchers analyzed how addictive a drug is and how…  [Read More]

Why Halloween Doesn’t Scare Me Anymore

by Bill Brenner October 30, 2010 Addiction

I used to hate Halloween with a passion. It’s one of the worst days for someone with a compulsive binge eating addiction. Now that I’ve broken the binging cycle, I find myself in the odd position of looking forward to the holiday. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohB922c2uQ&fs=1&hl=en_US] I used to dread it because I knew there would be candy everywhere. I would stuff it in my pockets, in the car and every other hiding space. Then I’d…  [Read More]

Moderation is a Myth

by Bill Brenner October 27, 2010 Addiction

Some interesting conversation with friends in Toronto this evening about addictive behavior. At one point, the focus turned to another truth about people like me: Moderation doesn’t exist. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eVQh0TPbos&fs=1&hl=en_US] People like to say it all the time: “Why do you have to give certain things up? Can’t you just have everything in moderation?” Well, my friends, that’s the problem. Moderation is an alien concept to me. When someone leaves half the food on…  [Read More]

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