Bill Brenner

You Think Too Much

by Bill Brenner August 25, 2010 Communication Skills

I have friends who spend a lot of time raking the same problems over the coals in their heads over and over again. The worry consumes them. I always tell them, “Don’t over think these things. That’s how you get the tumors and shit.” I know, because I used to let worry incapacitate me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdZXmnLmhFM&fs=1&hl=en_US] This shouldn’t surprise readers of this blog. I’ve described it before. OCD is very much about worry spinning…  [Read More]

The Anxiety Attack

by Bill Brenner August 24, 2010 Fear and anxiety

Overcoming fear and anxiety is a major theme of this blog, and people who think they’ve experienced it often ask me to describe what it’s like for me. Mood music: It’s been about four years since experiencing a real anxiety attack, but I remember the feeling well. It starts with a worry. Maybe it’s concern that Sean and Duncan are sick. Kids below the age of 10 spike fevers all the time, especially in the…  [Read More]

The Exploding Toilet

by Bill Brenner August 23, 2010 OCD

Back when my OCD was running out of control, one of my many fixations was cleanliness. If a toilet or sink backed up and spilled all over the place or one of the kids threw up, my brain would spin until it detached from its stem. With that in mind, this was a weekend of real progress. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HkjrSc51BA&fs=1&hl=en_US] Saturday, the kitchen sink backed up with dirty, putrid-green water and an entire bottle of…  [Read More]

One of My Biggest Regrets

by Bill Brenner August 22, 2010 Communication Skills

Yesterday I saw many old friends from my Eagle-Tribune days at the retirement send-off for legendary editor Cheryl Rock. It was a great afternoon. But one of the people I saw there brought back the powerful memory of one of the worst things I ever did. I didn’t talk to Sally Gilman. I guess I felt too awkward and nervous. She didn’t say anything to me, either. She probably doesn’t remember me. But what I did…  [Read More]

Things that DON’T Suck

by Bill Brenner August 21, 2010 Uncategorized

Since life has it’s ups, downs and constant drama, I always try to look at the everyday things to be grateful for. Sure, I struggle with OCD and addiction. Some of my relationships are strained. Life is hard. But when I step back and think it over, there’s a lot of awesomesauce oozing around me. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUha_Vj1BWA&fs=1&hl=en_US] –Started the morning with coffee and an OA meeting. I led this one and told my story….  [Read More]

An Exaggerated Response

by Bill Brenner August 20, 2010 Communication Skills

A reader asked me for my thoughts on “rollercoastering,” that exaggerated response to life’s normal challenges that creates high drama and the feeling of being on a rollercoaster. Hell yes, I’ve been on that ride. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I6y5-GuLPM&fs=1&hl=en_US] Here’s what my new friend had to say by e-mail (name kept anonymous to protect privacy): “Part of my addiction(s) is experiencing an exaggerated response to normal life events. Granted, I have a history of creating drama and…  [Read More]

The Ballad of Joe Zippo

by Bill Brenner August 20, 2010 Gratitude

Back at Salem State College there was a friend I would smoke cigarettes with outside the commuter cafeteria. We’d talk about everything from politics to Nirvana, his favorite band at the time. This was back when Kurt Cobain was still alive. He eventually picked up a guitar and teamed up with my friend and fellow journalist Greg Walsh, forming the band Zippo Raid. Mood music: I lost touch with him after college, but I’m thinking…  [Read More]

Bully’s Remorse

by Bill Brenner August 19, 2010 Children's issues

There was a kid in high school everyone used to pick on. He had a monotone voice and was frail. Kids were terrible to him, including me. Mood music: [spotify:track:5Qy0zLjQy3czoj0yZ7DFkk] For you to understand what I’m about to get into, a review of the 12 Steps of Recovery are in order, with special emphasis on 8 and 9: 1. We admitted we were powerless over [insert addiction. Here’s mine]—that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to…  [Read More]

Sometimes, You Gotta Cut Ties

by Bill Brenner August 18, 2010 Communication Skills

A friend of mine asked Facebook friends if it’s right to cut ties with someone you care about when the relationship is too laden with dysfunction. I’ll keep the person’s name out to protect privacy, but it’s something I’ve had to confront in my long, messy road to recovery from mental illness and addiction. So here are a few thoughts. Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNdagpIgItw&fs=1&hl=en_US] I come from a family full of addictive behavior and mental illness….  [Read More]

The Smoking Room

by Bill Brenner August 17, 2010 For misfits

In the early 1990s, as my addictions and OCD started taking on a life of their own, there was a place I could escape to and feel normal for a few hours. This is the story of the smoking room at North Shore Community College (NSCC). Mood music: [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YyDg9tT0Vw&fs=1&hl=en_US] I’ve been thinking a lot about this place, especially after talking to one of my best friends, Mike Trans, who I happened to meet in that…  [Read More]

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